Anna Zubkova
Contents
• THE CHOICE
• THE BEGINNING OF THIS LIFE
• THE BEGINNING OF WORK OVER ONESELF
• FIRST CLASSES
• PLACES OF POWER
• DIVINE TEACHERS
• BIRDS
• MONASTICISM
• TEACHING
• MIRACLES
• WEARING “ROSE-COLORED GLASSES” AND MEETINGS WITH EVIL
• QUITE A BIT ABOUT DEATH
• INTERRUPTED SONG… AND REPENTANCE
• CINEMA
• A LITTLE MORE ON METHODOLOGY
• ADVICES FROM GOD
• MEMORIES OF AN ASSYRIS’ STUDENT
• CONVERSATION WITH ASSYRIS
• FATHER! HOW CAN I THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING?!
• INSTEAD OF A CONCLUSION (CHAPTER DICTATED BY JESUS)
“One can traverse this infinitely long Path
during one single life
if one concentrates one’s own will
solely on this purpose”.
during one single life
if one concentrates one’s own will
solely on this purpose”.
Elizabeth Haich [31]
Instead of an Introduction
I would like to write a book about Vladimir Antonov — the spiritual Master, who has devoted his life, the life of a scientist, — to the research and analysis of the whole world of religious and esoteric experience. He himself has overcome the whole path to the cognition of God-the-Father in his Abode and has attained Mergence with Him. He wrote dozens of books on this topic. He has developed the methodology of the Straight Path leading to the cognition of the Creator — giving us clear and steady steps, allowing those, who have chosen God as their only Goal, as the highest meaning of our lives, and as our only Love, — to follow this Path and to succeed.
But I don’t have the abilities and skills to write a book about him, I can only tell you how I went myself up the steps of this Path, how I fell, got up and continued. I will try to tell you about what a great pleasure it was — to cognize God, what a great happiness it is — to love God! I will try to demonstrate, by the examples of my own life, — how gently and carefully God leads those, who are giving their trust to Him.
But everything that I have understood, comprehended and done on this Path, was done under the sensitive, tender, and sometimes almost unnoticed guidance coming from Vladimir Antonov.
Acting in the best Indian traditions, I should dedicate my work to the “lotus feet of my Guru”… But the “lotus feet” are shod in keds or rubber boots; worn windbreaker in summer and no less worn quilted jacket in winter are his monk’s garment. Behind his shoulders — a backpack. He goes and leads those, who can and want to go with him, those, for whom the Love of God became an inextinguishable need to approach Him, to merge with Him, those, for whom it became the unique purpose of this life on the Earth...
I can only tell you how it happened and how it occurred to me…
* * *
My perception of Vladimir in the first months of apprenticeship consisted of a mixture of love, awe, almost fear and an infinite gratitude for the miracle of being able to perceive the living reality of God that he gave us. Even now, many years later, after the fear and the awe gave place to the surprisingly close, kinship relations, such as those that are formed between us and our non-incarnate Divine Teachers, — it still has not became usual and ordinary.His soft, smooth flowing manner of speaking, of moving — was strikingly different from anything I’ve ever seen. It wasn’t at all a slowness or sluggishness! But that, manifesting as words and movements, was only a small part of his being, giving the opportunity for the incredible power of Peace to rise from the Depths and affect us.
He explained — not only by words. And we perceived — not only with our minds. We were studied — as consciousnesses — at once...
The long-term habit of living in the body — as a body — needed a radical change. And Vladimir knocked patterns of behavior and thinking, inherent in us — by an inimitable manner to joke, with bright examples, taken from the life of wildlife and people, and with unexpected turns of meditations…
Vladimir always succeeded in making our life harmoniously filled: with great meditations and deep dissolving peace, with beauty and harmony of nature, with fun and jokes and new variants of service to God.
The Choice
“The free will of a human being,
as a whole, manifests itself in one’s own choices,
and determines in which part of the Absolute
he or she will continue his or her existence”.
Giant [8]
One day, we worked and then were resting on the floodplain of a small river. It was an amazingly beautiful place! The little river, which spreads here on a huge open space during spring, was calmly flowing down the stream. Meadows surrounded us with soft waves of grass almost to the horizon.
This was a special place by the quality of its energy: a place of power. “River” of the Holy Spirit, called Pranava, smooth and quiet currents all over this huge open space.
Near us two shepherds were passing by with bull-calves. They went into the Stream of Living Divine Light, but didn’t see or feel It. As the majority of people, they didn’t feel anything special there…
They wished us a pleasant rest and accepted us as fishermen. They told us, that fishing at the river Vuoksa is better than fishing here… From this started a conversation…
Vladimir:
“Thanks, but we don’t eat meat and fish. For God commanded people: ‘Do not kill!’”
Surprise was the first reaction of the shepherds. Then one of them, having waved away with a hand gesture, went his way, but the second didn’t agree in any way:
“How is it possible not to kill? After all, I – must eat! I work a lot and can’t live without meat!”
Vladimir:
“Animals feel pain and die in anguish. What right do we have to kill — for the sake of satisfying our own gustatory whims? People may live well and work, without eating meat.”
“I kill them myself, quickly and without any pain! I do not want them to be tormented: I know what pain is!” — the shepherd objected.
“Everyone makes a choice: to kill or not to kill, to eat or not to eat, to love or hate… But that determines how we live on the Earth during our lifetime in the bodies (and that is only a short duration of the souls’ lives) — and also after their death.”
“But do you know: what will happen after death?” — the shepherd asked having become interested.
“Yes, I know. I am a scientist and I have made such researches. I know that souls living in malice and hatred, turn out to be among those like themselves after death in hell, and, on the contrary, the souls, who live in love and goodness, — provide for themselves heavenly existence after the death of the bodies.
“We spend relatively very little time on the Earth in incarnate states. And the way we live now, defines our own destinies for the future.”
“And how do you know this? Have you been there — have you been in the afterlife?”
“Yes, I have been.”
“And have come back — why? Didn’t you like it there?”
“I did like it.”
“Then — why?”
“God returned me.”
“And are going to teach us?”
“Not teach, but to explain to those who want to know.”
… Then the shepherd started to blame the state for all his troubles: that it was guilty of all…
But Vladimir objected:
“Yes, it is guilty in many respects. But each person is responsible for him/herself before God.
“There are two most important ‘milestones’ in the life of each human: God and death of the body.
“And the way we live this life — is just our choice, ours — and no one else! No one and nothing can be an excuse for the way we live, what we choose, and what we do in this life…”
* * *
Once, as if by accident, Vladimir and I met too. This was the moment when my whole life “turned around”…He then said almost nothing, just mentioned his books…
But by reading them, I realized that... beside me here was a man who knew Jesus perfectly and also cognized the Creator!... His books showed the Path of transforming oneself as a soul ― up to the very end: to gaining the true Perfection!
… God for me, thanks to him, now ceased to be “distant”, “incognizable”, “unavailable”. He became my Real Loving Teacher!
But I will try to tell you about this in detail…
* * *
Each person makes his or her own choices all the time — how to live in general and what for, how to act in a set of concrete situations… Sometimes these choices — are conscious, and sometimes — purely reflex: either the results of formed patterns from our upbringing, or on the basis of imitation…It can be similar to watching TV: someone can choose to watch either a philosophical program, or about medicine, about natural sciences — or an action film, a horror film, a sugary melodrama… And to some people — even this doesn’t matter: they just need something “showing pictures and making sounds”…
So all of us constantly decide: how we will live during each of the following phases of our lives.
The person, who follows the spiritual Path, makes such choices consciously. And God then can actively direct his or her movement: that person and God begin to work in cooperation.
The Beginning of This Life
“There is a certain transforming touch of God
to the soul, after which the old life of sin
and vice becomes impossible
and mentally unendurable.
This is called the moment of truth”.
to the soul, after which the old life of sin
and vice becomes impossible
and mentally unendurable.
This is called the moment of truth”.
Mark the Evangelist [8]
I was born in a quite “normal” for those times in our country atheistic family, however, very friendly and full of love and respect for one another.
Only my grandmother believed in the existence of God. I remember her firm conviction that the church — is one thing, and Jesus Christ and His Teachings — is quite another. She believed Jesus and did not believe priests.
However, I did not become a believer. I was an atheistic “goody-girl”, quite appropriate for that environment.
… But the image of Jesus, thanks to my grandmother, remained in my memory…
And when I was studying in 9th grade, I read the prohibited Bible, which was given to me for a few days for the first time — the Gospels touched me very deeply.
But… my childlike reaction was: “What a pity it is that this is — a fairy tale! And how great it would be if all of this were the truth!... ”.
I still had a lot to read and comprehend — before coming to an understanding of the Existence of God.
… When it finally happened, I already was an adult and took baptism consciously.
By this time, I had no doubt that One God exists, and that religious beliefs of different people just reflect variants of how to honor him. But, since I lived in Russia, — this led my way to the Orthodoxy.
* * *
God is constantly knocking on our hearts. We only need… to open the door of the spiritual heart for Him. When this happened to me — God tried to give me the greatest gift in life: a living incarnate Master!
But I… was not ready to recognize him yet… I was quite satisfied with my own life: I considered myself a believer and did not see the necessity to search for something more… And moreover: I was not aware of such a possibility…
It is said that, when the student is ready, the Teacher arrives. But, if the student is not quite ready yet: does not search for the Teacher and does not want to be a disciple at all... — then things do not happen so smoothly… God then has to make a lot more efforts …
It was as follows:
At that time I was working at a cinema studio “Lenfilm” as a costume designer. The scenario that was suggested to me at that time was a parody on the theme of the creation of the world. When it dawned on me that I have no right to participate in making a film, which ridiculed the idea of God’s Existence, and when I realized the inadmissibility of such a work for me — I could not for some time dare to declare this among the collective of atheists. But then, nevertheless, I decided — and refused to participate in such a work, and honestly said aloud the reason of my refusal:
“I believe in God!”
Thus, I was able to pass this little test.
And miracles started right away! The next day I was offered work on another film. And… soon Vladimir Antonov came right to the film studio’s wardrobe: an assistant of actors accidentally met him and persuaded him to star in a movie episode.
At that time I had no idea to what extent this meeting would change my life. But each word was etched in my memory, each thought of that meeting was as if fixed in an internal film in slight slow motion.
At first, when he came in, I did not notice anything special, just a man, with clothing that was out of fashion since a long time ago, however, perfectly clean. The thoughts even came to me that: “When people come in decent places — they should dress better!” Later, I was very ashamed of this thought…
While we were walking to the sewing workshop and back, Vladimir told me, that right here, at the kiosk in the lobby of the studio, his books were sold.
And I kept thinking: “So many weird people are in this world!… And in a film studio you meet them much more often…”.
Having said goodbye until filming, I continued on my way to work and passed by that kiosk with his books… But I never had “the time” for it, and did not even take them in my hands…
… The shooting days of the film started. When from seven in the morning you dress up 500 persons in costumes of the Peter the Great epoch — the attention dissipates. But nevertheless, I noticed that this time he was dressed in a denim jacket and jeans. This for some reason suddenly made me very pleased, as if it was done for me… As if his warmth and tenderness embraced me, I felt Love and Peace emanating from him. This made a significant impression on me…
I continued to fuss, since I had so many things to do: correct all costumes, and check them all up… And when he came and spoke to me, I continued to hurry. Unable to stand still, I wanted to run somewhere, do something… But he then took my hands and talked with me: he spoke very simply… And I still could not understand…
… Thus God introduced me to my future Master.
… Then I read his books again and again during the whole year… And when it was difficult, painful, or bad — I was warmed by thought, that right here, in this city, lives a man who has cognized God, also whom I saw, and… he held my hands…
* * *
Before that meeting, I never searched specifically for religious literature. Such books were coming into my life from time to time… as if by themselves. I was reading them, analyzing and building the foundation of my own worldview — from what seemed to me similar to the truth. Those building blocks in my foundation were alternating with empty spaces filled with question marks. But I was not trying to find the answers to these questions by myself. I was just very happy when the answers came to me as if by themselves and filled the empty spaces.When I read the books of Vladimir Antonov, I received the foundation already made — a durable, real, complete. Everything that I developed as my own worldview so far, was correlating with it, similar to a sketch on paper with all its shortcomings — with already built sustainable building that I wanted to create myself!
I easily accepted everything that was written there! I found there everything that was lacking, and also much more than that! And also ― something that I had not started yet to think about. I was reading again and again the books one by one. The most valuable truths of all religious concepts had been collected, explained, and analyzed in them very carefully! The higher knowledge about the Creator, the meaning of our human life and the ways of realizing this meaning was given in the most accessible way. I only needed to read, realize, and absorb this knowledge.
Everything, that I had read, was so grandiose, real, and at the same time… simple! These books were not only about how and why God has created everything in the universe, under what laws of His everything develops, — but was also about, what follows from this: what each of us, humans embodied by God on this planet Earth, should do.
While I was analyzing myself by the schemes of psychotypes described in Antonov’s books, and despite all my desire, I could not find my place near the top of those schemes. My imperfections — in all beauty and fullness — suddenly fell on me! When I understood that I had not been serious enough for real spiritual work yet, I undertook changing everything about myself that did not match the ethical standards.
The Beginning of Work over Oneself
“… There is one miracle
that is possible for man to accomplish.
It is when, full of a sincere belief,
man decides to root out
from the soul all evil thoughts,
and to attain the Goal; for this man
forsakes the paths of iniquity!”
“The Life of Saint Issa”, 11:8 [41]
that is possible for man to accomplish.
It is when, full of a sincere belief,
man decides to root out
from the soul all evil thoughts,
and to attain the Goal; for this man
forsakes the paths of iniquity!”
“The Life of Saint Issa”, 11:8 [41]
In the beginning, it was necessary for me to try to fix by the mind and suppress my own coarse emotional states: anger, irritation, envy, greed, etc.
Also it was necessary to learn to love all beings, including those, our younger brothers and sisters, whom for some reason, humanity persistently strives to “love” as a tasty food.
Switching to killing-free nutrition was the first difficulty for me. But it did not consist in refraining from the desire to eat meat or fish at all: I in absolute calm did not eat meat and fish, when I was fasting as it is understood in Orthodoxy. The thing that was hard — to break the stereotype that it is a shame to be dissimilar from all others.
So God had to educate me, in particular, through pain: to teach me not to cause any pain to others.
For example, I was going to Moscow for shooting the film and thought: “It would be somehow inconvenient to show my new way of eating in front of everyone — because all on set are fed the same way! They certainly would not cook separately for me!”
... And the next thing I knew – is that I got ill with a temperature of 40 degrees C. The next two days, I was still trying to go to work… Later, while I was lying in a hotel room, I was thinking how inconvenient it would be to die in a foreign city: how much trouble it would be for my friends and family to deliver the corpse!… The temperature was not falling below the mark of 40 degrees and nothing could bring it down… My head was splitting from unbearable pain... I thought about my body, about that it is so close to death and that it soon will be “no place to be put”…
Finally, I realized that I had to switch unconditionally to the killing-free nutrition once and for all! And… I recovered almost immediately!
* * *
I wanted to share with someone all the things that I had understood and discovered. But I was surprised to see the total lack of interest! The true reality, which I saw on every page of Antonov’s books, did not produce any impression on my acquaintances and friends! Even those who, kind of, believed in the existence of God, were satisfied with… just remembering about His existence on “holidays” or in misfortunes, while for the rest of the time it was easier to live… without Him.But God gave me another great gift: a friend on this Path — Maria. She was not a temporary companion: we were helping and supporting each other, and moving up the steps of the Spiritual Path…
We also had met each other at the movie studio. We worked together and sometimes exchanged books or talked about our kids… Once I gave Maria Antonov’s books and received in return Carlos Castaneda’s books with the “Teachings of Juan Matus”.
… Only a few persons, reading the books of Castaneda, could see, behind an entertaining mystical story, the real work of God with His incarnate disciples…
Maria did not only see this reality. She, while reading and rereading these books, … was waiting for the time when the Sonora desert with the Nagual* would be here, nearby. And so — she waited until this came!
Our teamwork of working on ourselves began from this point. Maria, having understood the priority of the ethical side of spiritual growth, switched to killing-free nutrition easily: as if it was always understood.
We read a lot, discussed, looked for ways to fight against our own “complexes”, against laziness, against irritability and against all other negative emotions that we could detect in ourselves.
And it greatly helped me to feel that every morning, at the same time as me, on the other side of town at 6:00 am, Maria was doing the same psycho-physical exercises as me, that were described in the books of Vladimir Antonov...
* * *
However, I modestly evaluated my successes.God — too…
And He had to scare me a bit…
One night I woke up with the full understanding that, if I was not ready to begin serious work over myself right away, that in a very near future I would have a cancer and a painful death…
In the morning, I wrote a letter to Vladimir Antonov.
He phoned me on the second day. Although… letters never came so fast in our city…
He invited us to visit him…
When I told Maria about this invitation — her reaction was: “Is this already beginning? Oh, how scary and great!”
… We arrived in advance. There was a strong frost and wind, so we were shaking with cold and fear. We found the entrance and flat, but… we walked around the house for about half an hour: so as to arrive exactly on time, not sooner or later. Understanding that our interiors were going to appear before him without any barriers, and that all would be visible for him, as is, without any embellishments, — only thinking about it did not give us more courage.
… We rang the bell with trembling hands. The door opened… We were met by Vladimir on the threshold.
... When a stranger is accepted in embraces and kisses — then we know that we enter another world of relations: in a world where Love reigns and where we feel like we are all children of God, and that the spiritual Master should be called “thou”.
The most amazing thing that I remembered from that meeting was silence. But this silence was not awkward, it was… calm and nice.
I always felt uncomfortable because of silence in the presence of unfamiliar people. I felt a sort of tension in these situations. Here — all the tensions, all my internal “scenarios” due to the desire to look better, to behave and to speak correctly, retreated, were washed away by the soft waves of peace and quiet. There was a feeling that in the presence of this peace, we could swim, and being completely relaxed, dissolve in it.
At that time, of course, I did not possess the ability to dissolve. And so, from time to time, I emerged on the surface with some excitement — and then plunged again into the bliss of that peace.
Of course, we talked. Vladimir told me that I had “achievements” coming from a past life, that I was already living in the anahata. He said that I had developed arms of the spiritual heart and that when I was correcting the costumes of actors, the light was flowing out of my palms — that was why he paid special attention to me…
Vladimir very softly and gently touched the topic of my Orthodox upbringing and suggested leaving the narrow limits of religious ritualism. He spoke nicely about the Orthodox church and remembered his own Orthodox past. The conversation on this subject appeared for me as clarifying everything.
* Nagual — a spiritual leader, who has already cognized the intangible worlds, is collectively called the Nagual (with a capital letter).
The same term nagual (with small letter) means all non-material worlds, the sum total.
These are — the terms of Indigenous American tradition described by Carlos Castaneda in his books [26-28, et al.].
The same term nagual (with small letter) means all non-material worlds, the sum total.
These are — the terms of Indigenous American tradition described by Carlos Castaneda in his books [26-28, et al.].
First Classes
“The Heavenly Kingdom is taken by efforts,
and the person, who makes the efforts, cognize It”.*
(Matthew 11:12)
and the person, who makes the efforts, cognize It”.*
(Matthew 11:12)
The first attempts to change myself actively began when I was in 8th grade. I realized that girls who were “suffering from complexes”, who were shy and foolishly proud, ― could not achieve anything in life. They could get success only if they change themselves in the opposite direction.
Now this work had a new — highest — meaning for me. I did not do this for myself but for God. So, it was no longer possible to indulge in my weaknesses! Every morning — gymnastics, psycho-physical exercises, etc., and I did this even if I had to go to work at seven in the morning, I did this even if I only slept 2-3 hours. And so on – month after month.
At that time I was mastering the course of Raja Yoga. I will not describe these exercises in detail: since they are described in the book “Ecopsychology” [8].
For our meetings with Vladimir, I always prepared a list of questions which I intended to ask him. But I never managed to do so! Vladimir started to speak… — and answered all of my questions before I had the time to ask them aloud…
A very significant event occurred to me during our second meeting.
I was still sitting on a mat on the floor after shavasana — the final relaxation exercise. Tiredness and happiness at the same time were so great, that I did not want to move or speak.
Vladimir suddenly asked:
“Which Divine Teacher is here with us?”
And our Guest answered:
“‘God of Sun’ — Assyris**. I conducted Anna in her previous incarnation and I am very glad to see her here now!”
And Assyris further said that in my previous earthly life I was embodied at the north of Novgorod Russia. There was a spiritual School, which was supervised by Assyris. The steps of studying in that School led to the cognition of the single Creator of all people.
… I can hardly remember the words that He said, because Assyris — my former Divine Teacher — entered with Consciousness into my body granting me the bliss of feeling Him entirely…
It was the first time when such a thing happened to me. The Light and Love filled and overflowed me so much that I could not move. Tears of happiness were flowing down my cheeks. I almost ceased to perceive what was around me. Everything was filled with the miraculous touch of the Living God, Who, finally, took His rightful place in my heart…
God — Living God! — came into my life so tangibly, the same as the most beloved human being comes. I had never before experienced such a strong love in this life! I waited for so long: the moment when that Main Beloved would come, whose name is — God…
* * *
This was how we received touches of God during the meetings with Vladimir — and after these meetings, we plunged again into the hustle of earthly life… But it was important that we should not dive into it for too long a time. We learned to swim out of it when necessary.During that time it seemed to me that this marathon would now end and that there would be a breathing-space, a stop. But there was no stop: just as a certain spring began to untwist, to unclamp, — it was giving my life a growing acceleration: to make up for the lost time of my spiritual idleness, time which I previously considered as “conscious life”…
* The literal translation from the Russian Synodal version of the New Testament.
** You can read in detail about Assyris and other Divine Teachers in the books [5,8,15, et al.].
** You can read in detail about Assyris and other Divine Teachers in the books [5,8,15, et al.].
Places of Power
“God — the Great Infinite Universal God — is Love.
And in order to get closer to Him, to cognize Him,
to join Him — we also have to become
very-very big love!”
Vladimir Antonov
(From the film “Sattva of Spring”)
And in order to get closer to Him, to cognize Him,
to join Him — we also have to become
very-very big love!”
Vladimir Antonov
(From the film “Sattva of Spring”)
Then we went to the forest to Assyris’ place of power. The things that I did not even dare to dream about — were starting to come true…
A huge sphere of Living Divine Light, which was visible by the eyes of the consciousness developed as the spiritual heart… The Shining Sun of the Divine Love… Again — it was giving an intense Bliss of Contact…
It seemed that I was burning with happiness — and I asked and prayed:
“Assyris, what are You? I want to see, hear, understand, feel you so much more fully — in all of Your Divine Omnipresence!”
Vladimir saw my troubles and approached me:
“Exit back from the anahata. And try to push off from the back of the body by the hands of consciousness. Then you will be able to swim into Assyris’s Light of Consciousness. Then you can try to merge with Him through filling His form.”
After an hour of efforts in this hard work, which were replaced only by a piercing feeling of blissful Merging for a few seconds, I was tired and exhausted like never before in my life.
… As we were walking to our campfire, Vladimir asked me on our way: “How did it turn out? Did you like it?”
I was confused as I did not know how to reply. Because I had no idea of how THIS should turn out!
He smiled, and then assured and encouraged me that it turned out okay… He then began explaining to me how a human consciousness gradually develops. In the beginning, most people are the consciousnesses about the size of a tennis ball and that they are often attached to some chakra. The methods of Raja Yoga allow one to learn how to move oneself-consciousness through energy structures of the body and, at the same time, clean them. When energies of the body and consciousness itself have been cleaned and made subtle in a sufficient measure — then a human can begin to learn how to get out of the body, to tune, as a consciousness, to the level of subtlety of the Divine Teacher. The next steps — growing in size, volume of the consciousness; is called “crystallization” — similar to the growth of crystals in a proper environment.
… Then we had lunch and rested at a fire. After that — we were given some home-work to do: to continue the work of cleansing and development of the chakras further. In particular, we had to sing special mantras for chakras.
To show us how this should be done, Vladimir, coughed slightly, and sang all the mantras in an amazingly high pitch. They sounded gentle, subtle, the whole snow-covered wood space was filled with the sound of his voice, which did not seem to belong to his body. Vladimir, with his soft fluffy beard framing his face, wearing a quilted jacket and rubber boots, was standing in front of us, and the sounds of the mantras were filling the whole space around. His body seemed to have nothing to do with it. All the air transparency was suddenly coming to life and it was huge, composed of a flow of his soft voice…
... Those tuning sounds for chakras allowed us to tune our bodies with their energy structures — as tools which are suitable for further work to improve consciousnesses.
* * *
He left us to work independently for some time.I was feeling and watching, being amazed and delighted at how powerfully God was coming into my life and throwing away “garbage and trash” from my everyday life.
From that moment, every morning, as soon as I woke up, I kept remembering Assyris. He immediately was coming to me — and was filling me with joy and hope.
When I “was forgetting about myself” in the hustle of the city life, sometimes like out of nowhere, through the haze of clouds over the wet snow, for a few seconds appeared in the sky the solar disk… — and I was igniting with joy when this made me remember about Assyris. Inside the consciousness, lines of poetry were beginning to be heard. I did not compose them, they began to manifest themselves — as some kind of rhythm, gradually were filling with words… — words, which took me away and beyond the bounds of this world of illusions… [5]
* * *
Every morning we were doing a set of exercises given to us and were singing mantras for the chakras, while hiding in the bathroom: in order not to wake up relatives at six in the morning. The neighbors above and below, probably, were wondering what was this suspicious hum coming from the water pipes…And so I wanted to go — faster, further!
One time, Vladimir called us to inform us of a new class.
I informed Maria about this… But she said that unfortunately that day she was busy and could not get rid of her work…
This situation, and what happened to her next, became a life lesson for me with the meaning that we had to go to the limit of opportunities. She was despaired that God did not take her, did not let her come closer to Him… And, if not now, the opportunity could never present itself again! “The bird of freedom flies — and it never stops and does not come back!” — this is what Juan Matus taught through Castaneda’s books. Her despair was so great that I did not know what to do. I had no way to console her…
But everything was resolved very simply. God having done His test, Vladimir just postponed the time of the meeting for two hours, so Maria could come to work, and at our class.
... So, snow and rain was splashing under our feet, the sky was gray with heavy clouds…
But before us — there was a wonderful plant of power — a poplar. It differed from all the surrounding poplars by its huge cocoon of subtle and bright energy, and it was completely consonant with the energy of the developed human spiritual heart. This was the warm tenderness and light, which could be seen by the consciousness, despite the dampness and gloom around. We could also feel the boundaries of the cocoon from outside and inside, through filling the cocoon by ourselves — ourselves as spiritual hearts. Or we could even go by the concentration of the consciousness below the Earth’s surface — to the place, where the cocoon covers the powerful roots of the poplar. The surface of the Earth ceased to be perceived and we then could freely pass through the earthly firmament…
But this poplar — was not just a tree with anahata energy: it was a consciousness, which had human incarnation in the past. And through the life of this tree body, it now develops a peace that could not have been learnt when living and loving as a human…
We could speak, and emotionally communicate with this soul… The reality of communication of consciousnesses beyond the material world, through it, became obvious for us at that time. It was impossible to no longer understand that life is only a movement of material bodies… But, as we looked deeper under this matter we could feel its heartbeat, and so it was getting clearer to us that we are not bodies but consciousnesses, that there are an infinite number of other evolving souls around us — as alive as we are…
We were instructed to continue to work with the poplar. And we worked there every morning before we got to work and every evening. We came back to it, greeted it, hugged it with the hands of the spiritual hearts. And this big and kind soul taught us harmony, tenderness, love, and peace, and helped us to clean the energy structures of our bodies. It also helped us to get used to being as big as it.
… I recently came back to our poplar friend and asked it: what should I write about you in the book? What would you like to say to people? The poplar replied:
“I hardly remember what books are. But I know what it means to love, love, love!…”
... And I no longer wanted to hear any words, I just wanted to respond with my love — to its love.
After all, to love — is much more, than to speak about it!
* * *
Then Vladimir taught us to exit from the anahata through the meridian chitrini and to merge with the Holy Spirit above the Earth’s surface…During the few hours living with him we were able to master what people sometimes take more than one incarnation of hard work to do…
At that time, we did not realize yet by what enormous steps God was offering us to go to Him…
... In particular, I have got the gift of experiencing a fundamentally new state. Speaking in the terms of Juan Matus, I managed to completely “collect myself in another world”, leaving the material body to go into the Living Light of the Holy Spirit in the third level of density of Its manifestation.
The sensation of my body completely disappeared. I was swimming by consciousness, extending the hands of the spiritual heart and aspiring to be there with all my being, where many Great Divine Souls are mutually merged into One Consciousness manifesting Itself by the Light and Love of the Creator. I stopped looking and perceiving the material world, I did not remember where my body was, also that I’m performing the meditation… Meditation — as an active job — suddenly ceased to exist for me. No more efforts were required… The world of the Infinite Living Light became the only Reality… I was met there by the Embrace of Love, I was expected there, was expected for a long time…
This state did not last very long, but, while I was there, I was not realizing time. When I “flipped” back into my body, I could not repeat it again by myself. I only captured this state and subsequently tried to “catch up” to it. It was the advance of God: He had shown and given me once again, in one other variant, the bliss of really cognizing, feeling Him. And then all depended on my efforts — to cognize Him fully and Merge with Him in His Abode.
Divine Teachers
Non-embodied Divine Teachers, Who, in the aggregate, are called the Holy Spirit (Brahman) — can manifest Themselves in many forms. They are Those, Who throughout the existence of the universe, merged into the Ocean of the Primordial Consciousness. Souls, Who became consubstantial with the Creator, then can manifest Themselves as the Divine Teachers, Who are emanating from Him. They implement His Will in His Creation.
Some of Them are well known, and Their Teachings became the property of humanity. But there are also Those, Who were not known by many people, and because of that, the way They lived, and what They said, — did not get preserved in people’s memory.
Sometimes They reincarnate again into human bodies. They then are called Avatars, Messiahs, or Christs. They do this in love for us: They are able, in such a case, to help us better.
I would like to talk a little bit more about my own experience of communicating with Them.
* * *
I was living without knowing anything about the lives here on the Earth of Sathya Sai Baba or David Copperfield. I had never even heard of Them before my acquaintance with the books of Vladimir Antonov!My acquaintance with Sathya Sai Baba started when reading Vladimir’s book “Sathya Sai Baba — the Christ of Our Days”. While I was reading this book, created with His blessing and blessed by Him afterward — in a published version — in His Indian ashram — I felt His Divine presence. It continued when I read His books and other books speaking about Him. With His immediate help the understanding of many different sentences were starting to unfold. Their real meaning came to me with His help, giving me a much deeper understanding.
In particular, He helped me through directing my thoughts in the right direction while flooding me with His Love, or by explaining the drawbacks that I should eliminate right now.
And sometimes He created small miracles, by allowing, for example, to find and buy books about Him that were not reprinted before in our country for many years. Once, He put into my hands exactly two copies, one for Maria and one for me, — which were the only ones that “accidentally” were available at the seller. Or a stranger in a bookstore suddenly gave me His portrait…
I was already confidently feeling the presence of Sathya Sai Baba in my life — and was anticipating my first meeting with Him at His place of power, as probably did His followers who were going to India to see Him.
… Vladimir took us to one of Sathya Sai Baba’s favorite places — a place, where His Mahadouble can be easily seen and where it is especially easy to communicate with Him.
When we got there, we took off our backpacks, had a little break after a long trip, and then stationed ourselves next to His Mahadouble — Vladimir initially explained: now Baba is approaching and is extending His Hands to us, He is touching our anahatas. After that, He proposed to us to communicate with Him directly by ourselves.
I clung with all my being, with all myself to the enormous Body of Consciousness of Sathya Sai Baba and told Him, how I loved Him, how I would try to learn very, very hard… Then I ran out of words — it became surprisingly blissful… I was completely surprised to hear His voice distinctly, addressing me — me who knew nothing and who was not able to do much yet, who was standing just at the very beginning of the Path. He said to me:
“We have one Heart for all: the Heart of God. This is your Highest “I”, this is what you will cognize, by becoming Him.”
I remembered those words my entire life. I lived with them, was repeating them like a mantra, like a password that let me be allowed into the Abode of the Creator.
And some time afterwards, while we were taking lunch, Sathya Sai Baba, Jesus, and Krishna came to bless us. When Baba approached me, He stood behind me and cuddled me to Himself as a little girl. Something in me just “overflowed over the edge”… Then I saw clearly His big smiling to me Face.
Sathya Sai Baba became for us since that moment one of Those Who is and will always be with us. He responded immediately. For example, He kept telling me: “Do not fear anything, I am here, near you, always with you. Your Baba”. And those words “Your Baba” were the ones that I kept hearing from the depths of my heart. They always helped me to find strength, courage, and patience — to understand what I had to do.
* * *
Our studying continued. Vladimir looked at us and said: “Well, what should we do now? Try this!” — and he then gave us the next task.
So, we got acquainted with Huang Di — one of the first Avatars of the Earth, Who embodied several times in China. The same, Who dictated through Lao Tse “Tao Te Ching”. He was “the Tenant”, Who, loving various extravagant jokes, gave secret knowledge to the group of Nagual Juan Matus.
* * *
A forest trail. Around us — thick high spruces. Only the singing of robins and finches were breaking the silence.Vladimir introduced us to Huang Di. In particular, he told us how, once, Huang Di condensed His Body of Consciousness so that It became visible even for very beginners.
Vladimir then mentioned to us that it was possible for us to invite Huang Di into ourselves, into our anahatas and to start chatting with Him there.
… I could not see the face of Huang Di in my anahata in the beginning, so I began to imagine His Image from the descriptions that Vladimir gave us — my art education allowed me to do this without any difficulty. A mongoloid type of face with broad cheekbones… Suddenly His eyes came to life and sparkled with joy, expressing a smile filled with tenderness… His face had become alive!
I tried to speak with Him, but could not hear anything: due to the excitement, I was not able to be relaxed enough to perceive the response. Then I asked Huang Di to answer by winking His eyes: I asked Him that if the answer was “yes” — to wink with His left eye, and if “no” — with right one. And… — it worked!…
I asked Him a few questions by the same “winking system”, and then, having obtained His consent, I clasped His neck by the hands of consciousness and asked:
“Let’s go behind the ‘Mirror’!…”
And then I got into the state of warm, dense peace of the eon of protoprakriti*.
I continued “to ride” on Huang Di’s neck, over and over again, and asked Him “to roll” me by eons, until I could hear very clearly:
“You’re so lazy!”
But this was said so gently that I could not even grieve.
So I continued to enjoy this amazing experience of cognition of the real God — Living, Gentle, Merry — with all His Universal Might!
However, remembering about this, I felt “uncomfortable” due to my own effrontery. How could I so “bother” God? He was the One in my recent understanding, Who should only be prayed to when I stand on my knees! But what was I supposed to do?! Huang Di was here — Alive, Real! And falling on my knees before Him… — it did not make any sense: He did not need this at all! And how can I even try to find the knees of my spiritual heart, if it has only the hands of love?!
* * *
Time was flying by in a strange way. On one hand, in the material world, I was living my ordinary life as usual — with my work, family, and other relatives, who, by the way, were all waiting for the moment when all this “folly” would end, how long could it last?! And on the other hand, I was living in a world, where only God existed. And Vladimir led us there very quickly, not giving us any breaks. Just a few months had passed by after the beginning of the classes!… Vladimir took us to see the spring sunrise during the time of the black grouses lekking. We had been driving since the evening before, and were without tents.
… After leaving the bus, we quickly got immersed into the silence of the night forest. The starry sky, it seemed, was laying down on the Earth — like a cozy blanket filled with the stars. I felt like I could touch the sky with my hands or grow by consciousness to such an extent that I could just touch the thickness of the sky near me, which was filled with star lights. And through looking from the infinity, I was able to feel as if the little planet Earth was swimming in a soft universal expanse.
Huang Di came — and the whole infinity got filled with His presence. The coolness of the night suddenly disappeared, and everything around us got filled with warm Peace, saturated with His Love.
Happiness was filling me to the brim and was ready to splash out of me! But the Peace of Huang Di was stronger, and, therefore, my happiness had to burn as a tiny star in the Ocean of Universal Huang Di.
… We arrived to a place where we could spend the night. We were gathering firewood in complete darkness. When, at last, the campfire caught fire, Vladimir invited all of us to lie down comfortably and sleep for three hours before dawn, until the moment when we would go closer to the grouses.
I was not able to sleep, I was asking myself: “Who am I? Where am I? What am I doing on this Earth? Why am I here? What should I do here?”. How many times Vladimir suggested to us not to forget about these questions! But now — it was not only necessary to ask them to ourselves, we also had to answer before God — directly, with full awareness and with full responsibility: “I am the part of the Absolute, a tiny droplet of consciousness. I am embodied in order to grow and realize my own consubstantiality with the One, to Whom we should strive.” And now, I must tell Him about my own readiness to go to Him without hesitation. For there is nothing in life more important than this Goal!
Huang Di connected to my thoughts and reminded me about an idea that I had read in one of Vladimir’s books: God never gives to humans unbearable tasks; but people must not continue to live in the dreams of something more2* . It is necessary to not only make a choice in favor of God, we also have to get out everything in our own lives that prevents us from going to the limit of our own possibilities — daily, hourly…
… I slept a little bit while holding the hand of Huang Di.
… We got up before dawn and, after we silently collected our things, we moved to the place, where black grouses would be singing. In the predawn mist there were flying woodcocks, gently flapping their wings over our heads. Then the snipes began to sing their delightful songs, rising up and then falling down cutting the thick morning air with their splayed tail feathers; that was making the sounds like bleating.
We also listened to the black grouses…3*
… The sun was rising higher and higher illuminating the fields. Birds were filling the space with their voices. Each species of birds was participating in the general chorus at a specific moment in relation to the quality of the brightness of the light. Males of all species were trying their best to attract females through their songs — so as a result of their love, children would be born, and then they would learn the songs of their own species from their fathers.
Vladimir told us all about this, and taught us to distinguish the voices of the birds.
And then he depicted, through compacting the consciousness into a new form, how blackcocks sing: so that we could see it more closely.
… If some of you have seen the actor Lebedev, depicting a very old horse in the play “Strider”, then you know that a person can portray a horse like no horse can.
So now try to imagine a man on a small hillock among the fields, who slowly turns into a huge singing blackcock. He was tilting his head and torso, spreading his wings, which were almost touching the ground, spreading, as a fan, his large black and blue tail feathers — and started “to warm up” by shaking his torso and uttering black grouse’s “chufykaning” sounds that later were growing into a jubilant song…
Then Vladimir straightened up, took a human form again, and laughed — and we all laughed with him.
… After this, we looked at the sunrise on a hill inside the Mahadouble of Sathya Sai Baba, Who had emanated from the depths of the boundless Ocean of the Creator.
... After that we went swimming in the icy water of the river, which had barely got rid of its ice, and then took a sunbath under the already shining summer’s sun. All the experiences, tensions and delights of the night were washed away by a new day, which we had to live for God, here and now.
* About the eons (lokas) of the multidimensional space, look in [13] and other books by Vladimir Antonov.
2* Words of one of the earliest songs of Boris Grebenshchikov.
3* See our reels on www.ru.spiritual-art.info, including “Blackcock’s Display”.
2* Words of one of the earliest songs of Boris Grebenshchikov.
3* See our reels on www.ru.spiritual-art.info, including “Blackcock’s Display”.
Birds
Vladimir always taught and is teaching us not only the art of meditation but everything! He is teaching us to see the harmony and beauty of nature, to be careful, gentle in an interaction with each incarnate soul. Every such being — blades of grass, trees, small spiders, ants — were becoming for us those, whom we should sincerely love. It was inadmissible “to miss” an ant on a trail and accidentally step on it. Or walk past a rusty sheet of tin, which crushed down young grass, without removing it. He always noticed when a creature needed help, for example, by disposing a dry branch that hanged on a young tree, by cutting ropes that were wrapped around tree trunks by someone which hindered the growth of trees.
Vladimir is not only teaching us by words ― how we should act. He always gives the example himself. By this way he lives: by practicing the laws of love towards every creature. And this is how we were learning from him; we saw an example before our eyes, as he was putting it into practice.
He also taught us to recognize birds by their voices.
It was not easy for me to do this… During the first spring of my discipleship, voices of birds were naturally joining into a united harmony of happiness expressing the first touches of God, and I was not able to remember their names or their songs. My skills in ornithology* were limited to the ability of distinguishing a crow from a cuckoo. If I saw a bird, I was able to distinguish a thrush from a woodpecker, a robin from a chaffinch… But by ear… and when they all sang together…
It was like if Vladimir asked: “Who is keking?” Sometimes we knew the answer: a woodpecker says “kek-kek” — it was written in our cheat sheets. A black woodpecker says: “I’m sitting down” when he sits down on a tree, and whistles, as a police whistle, declaring to everyone that he flew. “Pink, pink” — it means a chaffinch. Jay — gently “croaks”. And thrushes, if they are just talking among themselves or fighting off other birds from their nests, — cracks.
But if the same kinds of thrushes start to sing — it is very difficult to distinguish: a blackbird, a redwing, a song thrush, or a fieldfare… You will never guess! And you cannot record their verses in cheat sheets!
And only with time it became clear to us that those who have not yet learned to contain in themselves love for all beings — His children, also cannot love God: their Creator. And that you can truly love them — only if you are willing to know them: learn their names, recognize their voices…
Vladimir did not only manage to overcome such resistance from us. He did not only give us the possibility to see, near our big city, black grouses and snipes, woodcocks and curlews, foxes, hares, beavers… We became witnesses and participants of a transforming miracle: when we had learned to live in subtle harmony with nature ― animals cease to be afraid of us and approach us, fly up close. When we got in forests instead of parks, tits and jays came to eat cheese sandwiches right out of our hands. Lizards were letting us pat their backs warmed by the sunshine. Robins, with their big eyes for their little furry bodies, were looking at us: they seemed to be asking themselves... Who are those big creatures radiating love? They were flying up close and were sitting on branches very close to us — and gave us the pleasure to hear their beautiful songs.
Then, when we were filming the birds for our movies, I really got to know about their lives — and loved them even more, as Vladimir wanted! And I learned their songs, while I was offering robins and chaffinches, thrushes and warblers the possibility to sing their songs in the microphone — for the pleasure of those people, who, perhaps, will hear their voices in our films — for the very first time.
* Section of zoology dedicated to birds.
Monasticism
“… The discernment of one person does not stretch the wings onto another.
And every one of you stands alone before Him.”
Khalil Gibran [8,30]
And every one of you stands alone before Him.”
Khalil Gibran [8,30]
“God is cognizable only in the true monasticism!”
Vladimir Antonov
(From the film “Three Steps of Centering. Places of Power”)
Vladimir Antonov
(From the film “Three Steps of Centering. Places of Power”)
I have already mentioned that from a certain point the current of my life clearly divided into two streams. And the one that flowed in the material world, — was sharply slowing, stopping an unnecessary race for the illusory, transient values. And there was the other one, carrying me to the fullness of cognition of the Creator, — which was incredibly intense and accelerating. From a certain point the habitual course of events ceased to exist. Only the stages on the Path remained, which were determining changes in my life on the material plane.
A monk — is one who is completely devoting oneself to God only: learning to cognize Him, loving Him and serving Him, through the spiritual help to others.
I fully understood this formulation, given by Vladimir. But it is one thing — to understand the theory, but another and difficult task — to implement it in a real life situation.
So God created a situation where I had to make a definitive choice.
… I was combining the work that I loved in a movie studio — with the spiritual studies for quite a long time. But at one time, I was offered a job on a film which consisted in an expedition to Egypt (a free trip, wages in hard currency, excellent film director and actors). But, on the other hand, there were the Divine Teachers Ptahhotep and Elisabeth Haich Who were beginning to reveal to us the ancient time esoteric knowledge from Egypt.
I understood that if I was to go on the expedition — these doors could never open themselves for me again: the doors that God was opening.
I did not even ask Vladimir about this situation: I knew that, if I ask, he would say: “Of course, go, if it is what you want!”… I had to make this decision myself. And it then became clear for me: I decided not to go and transferred all my current affairs to a good person and then… I had left the keys inside the wardrobe, and slammed the door which had two locks… The door to the world of illusions was closed forever for me…
Other ways of life than a life, completely dedicated to the service for God and consisting in moving on the Path to the fullness of realization of the meaning of my existence, was already unthinkable for me. God no longer needed to ask me about this, there was already no way back!
* * *
True monasticism is a state of the soul one on one with God. It does not consist at all in things like removing our bodies from “the world”, or adopting new names, wearing special clothes, etc.Vladimir always taught us to interact with God directly.
In particular, he sometimes suggested to each one of us to stay alone with God in the forests, drifted apart to some distance, — to feel that there was only He and I.
Once, each of us even got to live in a complete forest “retreat” for a whole week. At that time, we got to look for places of power ourselves for the first time, and learned to feel the direct guidance of God.
It always was an invaluable experience that allowed us to learn to have a more complete and intimate interaction with Him — the Loving Father, Strict Teacher, the Only Beloved, Infinite Ocean of Love…
God Himself was unfolding situations in our lives so that understanding came to us: in fact, we should rely only on Him and no one else, not even incarnate Masters, not even on the most dear and closest companions on our Path.
* * *
At first, God was only telling me encouraging words on the early stages of the Path, dictating verses of love and talking to me about the bliss of Mergence with Him. But then, the more profound and mature my relationship became with Him, the more strict He became.The closer you approach Him, the bigger efforts He requires from His disciples.
I will give now some examples from my conversations with Him to illustrate this:
“There can be no meditation without love!
“Why is it that love sometimes disappears in you? It is because some part of you-soul is not yet cleansed from the vices and is not crystal clear. But only such purity can permit to merge with Me! The soul must be absolutely pure, fearless in its aspirations, gentle and transparent!
“This is — what you have to do for Me: you have to clean yourself from vices and rebuild yourself as a soul, filled with love, and then offer yourself to Me.
“The things that you do out of imitation, but not coming from your own inner convictions, — are short-lived; let them fly off like a husk.
“The ones, who are led to Me ‘by a leash’, cannot enter into Me!
“You must learn to rely only on Me — and be fearless! The heart, filled with My Love, cannot be afraid either for oneself or for others!
“Understand that My concerns are not in the creation of comfort and peace for you or My other students. My concerns right now are about you overcoming your self, throwing off ‘the human form’*.
“Study — for this sake — see My blessings in every situation. I created them for you and for all living beings. Rain, cold, a train cancellation — everything can be turned into blessings! Learn to use every situation — to become better!
“Do not be afraid of failures! In defeats, the will to win becomes tempered! Those, searching for an easy way, cannot reach the end!
“Also understand: I do not expect that you become perfect instantly. Accept calmly the fact that mistakes are inevitable for those who have the courage to act! Just remember that the wise do not repeat mistakes twice.
“And remember: I am — near you, I am always ready to come to your aid!
“I teach you COOPERATION with Me! This is the only way you learn to live and act in Mergence!
“Remember firmly and forever:
“The state of ‘nothing turns out’ — is a challenge! It is — a challenge to become better, to change — and to take the next step! Life of a spiritual warrior consists of challenges that he or she accepts as a great gift, — and comes out as the winner in the battle against one’s own imperfection!
“Learn to act in Unity with Me! I do not accept anymore the service of you as ‘a shudra’, when one only acts as told. I expect from you initiative and creativity! And I accept — only love as your gifts!
“But also do not defend the right of the ego to ‘self-determination’! You offer to Me your gifts, your ideas, your proposals. Then we will be able to work together — you and I — on the things that I have accepted. This joint work will teach you to unite yourself with Me!
“You must not be like a chip of wood floating without any propulsion on the waves of the ocean. And do not be like a ship, going against waves and wind directing its course. But be like a wave, consubstantial with Me — the Primordial Ocean! The waves go up and down, but they never cease to be the Ocean, and when the calm comes — there are no waves anymore, only the Ocean remains!
“Correct yourself! Do not force Me to teach you through pain!
“Understand that when I have to teach you through pain, I always suffer more than you! So, please, stop hurting Me!
“There are events that come into your life caused by the inertia and passivity of your life. If a person has embarked on the spiritual Path, but for a long time does not change his or her way of life, then the consequences of such mismatches ― concerning the growth of the soul in opposition to the saving old shackles of the material plan ― causes events that break down those old shackles and old foundations through cataclysms.
“It is required to always have a more intensive and deeper life in Me, with Me!
“Fearlessness in letting go of all obstacles is required!
“The torpid life-process facilitates the realization of negative karma.
“But you can live in such a way, that the manifestation of that bad karma can be diminished in the material plan — through the right actions and Mergence with Me in Love! This applies to everyone who has spiritual aspirations and wants to achieve more than only a ‘life of righteous person’. This is — for those who follow the Straight Path!
“It all depends on the size of your ‘vessel’: that is, how much you are able to contain. I am willing to offer you the whole Ocean of Me, the whole Ocean of My Love, Wisdom, and Power! I am willing to give Myself — to you, and everyone…
“But you cannot contain the Ocean. Only the Ocean can contain in Itself — you and all that exists.
“And at the moment, when your ‘vessel’ will become identical to My Depths and large enough in size for the preservation of your awareness in Me, then I will be able to remove this ‘vessel’, to break out the illusion of your separate existence. You will then obtain the experience that there is only Me, only I exist, that you are Me!
“For now, since you cannot always be in Me, try to surrender yourself to Me. And the best way to do that — is to offer selfless service to Me!
“This is the best way of living, allowing one to acquire missing qualities such as: energy, self-discipline, calm, non-attachment to earthly things, broad-mindedness, ability to think quickly, etc. And all actions should be done on the background of Bhakti: love-devotion to God. This, in return, allows to erase vices from the soul and help in the dissolution of the remaining negative karma from the past. This allows to grow properly. Those, who serve Me and forget about themselves, will be brought closer to Me. I surround them with the Love and Care of the Father and the Mother. I stay with such heroes always.
“Total Reciprocity2* should become the background state. Always feel yourself dissolved in the Ocean of Me!
“Being able to perceive fully Me, My Will — it can be done only on the background of peace and dissolution. If you master this — you will become One with Me.
“Only love can be dissolved in Love!
“Only in mutual love can be possible Peace, Gentleness, Mergence of consciousnesses!
“Everything else is garbage, let it emerge to the surface and be carried away by the current!
“You are in the Ocean of Me: in the Ocean of Pure Love! Become this Ocean!
“… Contentment with myself, with my successes — it prevents the subtle and pure perception of Me.
“It is possible to immerse into Me up to infinity — and then come back into a comfortable ‘human form’ without feeling a discomfort or contradiction between these states.
“But the immobility of the ‘i’ in the absence of efforts of dissolving it in the Depths of Me — over time, becomes ‘shackles on one’s feet’.
“One, who stands still, — moves away from Me. This is like a pregnancy: it is fine, while the fetus grows, but, when it is ready, the delivery should be — how it could be otherwise?3*
“You cannot sit on your achievements, when the level of your previous achievements forms a marshy lake with stable banks — instead of the mighty river flowing into the Ocean of Me!
“The Mergence with Me that does not bring one to go deeper and to expand in constant search of new opportunities to give love to Me and Me to others — after some time ceases to be the Mergence with Me, for I do not let you stagnate.
“One, who thinks that the Goal is already reached, and that it is now possible to ‘rest on laurels’, — enters on the path of degradation.
“The Mergence which does not become deeper — diminishes!
“Love which does not increase — dims!
“The task is to become Me in the whole entirety! And you will not get your way through ‘pleasing’ Me with small things! The stage of ‘shudra’ has ended for you a long time ago! You have the option to take a new direction in life — or, if you do not, it is enough for your present incarnation!
“And I do not expect at all that you will be able to take this new direction from the very first. I never condemn those, who fall, rise and start all over again!
“Bless the difficulties, for we grow through them!”
* See “The Teachings of Juan Matus” in [8].
2* One of the meditative states that is mastered in Buddhi Yoga (details ― in [13] and in our films).
3* This is the “birth” in the Abode of the Creator. (See the “Gospel of Philip” in [6,8]).
2* One of the meditative states that is mastered in Buddhi Yoga (details ― in [13] and in our films).
3* This is the “birth” in the Abode of the Creator. (See the “Gospel of Philip” in [6,8]).
Teaching
We were not only learning new things for ourselves, we were also learning to give received knowledge to others, in particular, to teach.
There were always only a few worthy students ready to receive this teaching. Sometimes we all, in turn, conducted classes with one or two chosen ones. For a very long time, many years, Vladimir did not make a massive recruitment among those who wanted to study. Since then, very few received the possibility to study at least at the initial stages.
One of the difficulties for me was always the ability to see the drawbacks, mistakes and vices of students. Here my “rose-colored glasses” were greatly hindering me. Drawbacks in others, if I noticed them, seemed to me to be insignificant. I talked about those excessively softly — and… people were just not taking my words seriously…
But this is extremely dangerous ― when the process of the growth of consciousness happens… along with the soul’s vices…
Vladimir, of course, scolded me for this. And God scolded me too — and the further, the more strictly:
“Are you really ready to serve Me?
“Here: I give My children into your hands! You have to love them, as I do, bring them up, as Vladimir does! But you… only 'smooth’ their defects!
“You, when bringing them up, should take responsibility for their destinies! Your concern for them cannot be limited to the subjects of eating, drinking, and giving meditations! For there is also God and ethics, philosophy, there is a life side by side with Me, in which you must be an example to be followed, imitated…
“Your role now ― is not correct: you just want to be ‘a good mom!’… You depict an upbringing, instead of love, from which I both — scold and praise, and never let My hands go, on which I hold the whole situation from My Depths!
“My Love has no pity! I make precise strikes against vices of My students, because I know that this clears them from 'ego shells’ which separate them from Me!
“Are you ready henceforth to take the whole burden of responsibility for the lives ― of whom I entrusted you?
“Herewith, it must be remembered that the fullness of the responsibility for the fate of the students implies the ability to feel My Will in every moment ― Will of the Creator, which is directed to the benefit of each soul!”
… Thus God was teaching me to understand people, to see the abilities and potentials of souls, see the longing for Him, or its absence, see vices and the ability of each student to discover them in oneself and get rid of them…
And it was not always those, who seemed to be more capable than others — due to their achievements of past lives — who stayed with us. For some reasons, it seemed that God, turned out to be,… was not needed to many of those, for whom everything was easy to master. And only those, who were working tirelessly over themselves and burning with great love for Him, stayed with us. It were such souls, who were ready to fight for their impeccability and filled with love, — those are needed for God!
* * *
Sometimes it was very painful for me, as for all of us, to see and understand that certain person could not move on…The causes of their withdrawal in such cases may be different, but the best thing that could happen is if they just lost interest in the work — and leave.
But if a person is unable to deal intellectually with one’s vices and sometimes even defends one’s right to possess them: “I am right, I am scolded for nothing”, or they do not put efforts in their elimination — then a student must be immediately stopped.
God spoke to me about this in such a way:
“Serious meditative practice is associated with the rapid growth of the consciousness, and this requires getting rid of vices quickly.
“The work of remaking oneself is performed by the students themselves, God-the-Teacher — only helps and gives advices. The students must consciously accept the Path and put themselves under the strikes of God. Thus, the students ask God to strike them. In this way the students become allies of God in this work over their own imperfections and make maximum efforts to change. They must, with ‘clenched teeth’, endure the pain of surgery removing the vicious pieces of one’s self.
“If the students do so — they can move on, if not — then STOP!”
* * *
I would like to say one more thing. I personally witnessed this only once, but I heard that such things happened before.How easily it is forgotten sometimes by some former followers, that not they paved the way, that they were helped to go on, that the most powerful techniques were received by them as the gifts!
And the one who receives gifts and gives nothing in return is in reality a thief, — so God taught us.*
But somehow, some of them suddenly say: “Now I will create my own techniques, Antonov is too strict and demanding, I now know God better than he, I hear, see and can do everything myself!…”.
Then a complete “rollback” takes place, loss of past accomplishment, degradation, or at best a stand still till the end of the incarnation.
Like a branch, that grew up attached to the trunk of a tree — would suddenly announce a disagreement with the roots and trunk, which nourished and nurtured it. Such a branch would dry up and bring no more fruit, because the further development of such people is stopped by God…
* * *
Once, Vladimir told us a parable, saying that the spiritual Path is similar to crossing to the other bank of a turbulent and broad river. And we should not take with us in the boat those, who at the middle of a river, suddenly, will be scared, or they recall that they forgot to take something with them and want to run back, start to panic and sink the boat… It is better for those, who are not ready to overcome the Path, to stay at their bank. We should not take them with us, even if they strongly ask for it…
Miracles
All my life, I lived with the desire to see a miracle, with the belief in miracles. I believed that it was possible: to fly, to heal with the Divine Touch, to resurrect…
The real miracles came into my life together with the start of my discipleship. But my childish-egoistic desire for the materialization of something that I could touch with my hands continued to live in me. The miracle of the cognition of God did not replace my ordinary human notions completely, thinking that a miracle — is when things appear “out of thin air” or when a train wagon or a plane disappears or when it’s snowing in a hall…
I already knew how to merge with the flow of Pranava, with Mahadoubles of our Divine Teachers, was entering — just a little at that time — the Abode of the Creator… But I already did not consider this experience miraculous. This became — usual… — what kind of miracle is there to be seen in this?! It was similar to the way we do not see the miracle of the blossoming buds in spring, in huge trees, which grow out of a tiny seed, in the miracle of life, in the miracle of the beauty of God’s Creation…
And so, one time, David Copperfield explained that to me with a joke — and also with the help of a miracle…
… We were in the forest, it was the end of summer, and we had been working a lot that day, walked at least fifteen kilometers, and were tired…
David came. And it became so joyful due to His presence that our fatigue passed entirely…
It occurred to me to ask David for a miracle. It would cost Him nothing to materialize a little snowflake on my palm! Nobody would even notice: the snowflake would melt immediately… I walked for some time with the palm of my hand imperceptibly offered to Him, and then forgot about my silly request… — I was walking and admiring David, His Divine Smile…
And suddenly, after a few minutes, in a clear sky with a shining sun, — a tiny dark gray cloud started to appear. And… with a gust of wind, snow and hail began falling on us… The sun continued to shine brilliantly, as a dazzling smile of David shined: you wanted a miracle — here it is!
… I was holding melting snowflakes on my palms, breathless with excitement…
But I also had to repent: we all were soaked because of me.
… And then, again, we experienced the true miracle: our Divine Teachers Sathya Sai Baba, Jesus, Krishna, David — helped us to Merge with Him, we immersed ourselves again into the Abode of the Creator…
I will not even attempt to explain how we feel when an individual consciousness touches the Consciousness of the Creator, will not try to speak about the states of dissolution, or Mergence… This knowledge cannot be transmitted only through words. Let everyone, who embarks on the Path, cognize it by oneself!
Wearing “Rose-Colored Glasses”
and Meetings with Evil
and Meetings with Evil
Seeing only the good in everything, not noticing evil, living as if evil does not exist at all, — was the typical way of perceiving the world for me, since childhood. On one hand, it was good — I loved everyone and everything, since when you look through rose-colored glasses — it is very easy to love… But such a “defect of vision” could not suit God: it is impossible to eradicate evil, if you do not see it, it is also impossible to help others in this…
“We can tear out evil only if we recognize it. If we are ignorant of it, it will continue to grow its roots and grow itself in us… Ignorance of it is the mother of evil in us,” — Apostle Philip wrote down [6,8].
I was ready to deal and fight against vices, eradicate them from myself — it was quite easy for God to bring me up to this understanding. But to see that evil exists outside of us too, misunderstanding of this and carelessness in this — may lead to troubles — this was more difficult for me…
So God started to explain this to me.
For example, I thought that, if I loved dogs and was not afraid of them, — then no dog would bite me! So, one day I was walking, overflowed with love and joy, — when a dog pounced on me and bit me. Its angry-drunken owner was sitting on the steps of a store — and was enjoying the scene…
Understanding that there are people who are much worse than the most vicious dogs, who do not even need a reason to do evil, it was becoming hard in me…
Vladimir often showed us the reality of the present and past political situations of our country — and I tried to recognize that the lyrics: “Wide is my dear country, where man breathes so freely!” — do not reflect the real state of things. He also spoke to us about the “Christian” inquisition, about the history of the perversions in other religious movements, about those I had always thought only good, but I knew only about the superficial layer… Every time, I felt like I was scalded with boiling water and that my skin was being removed from me… How easy it is to love a sweet fiction and continue to think: “How everything around is so wonderful!”…
God was strongly trying to explain this to me, so that I could “get it” without having to experience a big calamity on the material plane. He showed it to me up close, but from a side. He was trying to teach me caution — with the same tenderness as it was in my early youth…
… I remember how once, during a tourist trip, I walked alone in the mountains. Just like with dogs, I was not afraid of people at all. I enjoyed the spaciousness and beauty…, when a man, who looked more like a terrible wild animal, approached me. He took my wrist with force and commanded me to go with him. I was not very afraid and said that I did not want to go with him — and I thought that it was enough for him to let me go. But he did not let me go. He also apparently had never seen such a “wild” specimen before. He held my hand for the entire time on the way to the… tourist base… He told me to never walk alone… Only a bruise on my wrist remained after that incident…
So then and now — through pain and tears — God offers to see and realize the existence and manifestation of evil on the Earth. By the same way, He sometimes painfully squeezes my hand and shows me what I previously feared and did not want to see.
He offered to develop in me the wise caution of a spiritual warrior. He suggested to me to love not a fictitious “humanity” while living and serving Him in this world, but, to see the truth, to become namely a wise Love. He offered me to learn to help everyone in everything good — just as He helps!
Quite a Bit about Death
“… When you are anxious,
ask advice from your death.
An immense amount of pettiness
will drop then off you…
Death is a wise adviser
that we have”.*
Juan Matus [8,27-28]
ask advice from your death.
An immense amount of pettiness
will drop then off you…
Death is a wise adviser
that we have”.*
Juan Matus [8,27-28]
God regularly reminded me about the death of my material body, especially when I was losing myself in the hustle of earthly affairs…
Vladimir often suggested to us to try, if possible, to have no unfinished earthly affairs and earthly debts, including non-material affairs. He suggested us to live in such a way that if death comes right now — we would not be ashamed to die in front of God. And we would not look back to what we have forgotten to do…
God was very skillfully “playing along” to help Vladimir in this.
God showed me the “face of death” even through the threat of surgery (which did not take place): suggesting me to prepare for it as if I would not come out of narcosis. Or He showed the death of other people. Or was slightly hurrying me, directly reminding me that we do not live in our bodies forever. And that we should think about the things that are really important so that we have the time to get them done…
I will now tell about one of these episodes. At that time, I only started to study with Vladimir, and was still working at the studio. One time, I was running in a hurry at the studio yard with a bunch of suits in my hands — and at a turn I ran into a car, which fortunately was not moving very fast. This was during winter, it was very slippery! I was hit by the car and slipped — and found myself under the car. The driver, whitened with fear because of this, got me out and helped me to stand on my feet. He was surprised to see that I seemed to be all right…
I thanked God for this lesson! He showed me — quite specifically and intelligibly! — that death can happen very suddenly, when we least expect it…
But, God sometimes reminded me of death even after that, so that I did not forget that lesson — and hurried me up: for me to understand how much is still to be done.
For example, my mother, who accompanied a female friend, ill with cancer, to the hospital, told me that the turns of cancer patients were similar there to the crowds in crowded buses during “rush hours”. And I remember how God had once showed me — in a dream — myself standing in such a “turn for death”… Another variant of a turn, shown to me in the same dream, was in a comic form — “a turn” of Those Who had reached the Perfection — in front of the entrance to the Abode of the Creator… I saw then immediately how little I had done on this Path… And I also thought about how important it is to try to do as much as possible for others — so that they would also have time to think about all this…
… The illness and death of my mother’s friend taught me a lot too.
I was deeply grateful to that woman who once, during my first steps on my religious way, taught me the Christian humility. She was a sincere and deeply religious human.
Then — I tried to give her the knowledge that I had gained up to that time, but it did not turn out good. She, being an Orthodox, did not believe the things I was saying, did not accept my views, and did not want to read “sinful” books…
But, once, Jesus, speaking through me, promised her a healing. But He was also asking her — in gratitude for this — to keep fasting — a meat-free diet for all of her newly granted life. If okay, He recommended to confirm that the healing really happened — through repeating the tests on cancer. He told her exactly the date when it should be done. Analyses were carried out — and a reply was received: there were no cancer cells anymore.
But she still did not believe Jesus! The opinion of the church turned out to be more important for her!...
And then the cancer returned to her body…
One of the mechanisms of the manifestation of cancer — is the entering of souls of dead animals, killed and eaten, into the human body. These spirits create there “a nest” for themselves of cancer cells.
She died exactly one year later: on the very same day, in which — the year before — she was healed by Jesus…
She continued to accept with humility her fate until the last breath and strictly performed all the rituals and regulations of the church…
Imagine her shock, and confusion, when after the death of her body… she did not find herself in paradise! All did not turn out to be as the “pastors” promised her…
After she died, she came into my room. I had very little experience of communicating with non-divine souls — and did not immediately notice her. She tried to draw my attention to her. I felt bad, stuffy because of this. I did not understand what was happening and only after a while noticed her.
I sharply felt the pain of this deceived soul… To calm her down somehow, I asked her to sit on a chair, which stood in the room. She hung in the air over it in a sitting posture…
I tried to help her as much as I could… I offered to her to recollect the most tender emotions of love, which she experienced in her life, the peace and transparent silence of the autumn after she was healed, when she heard for the first time in her life how leaves fall to the ground in silence… And she found peace… But it is already impossible after death to obtain the state of love, which was not mastered by a soul during life of the body…
But how much more she could have done, as a sincere and deeply-religious human, if…
I strongly understood at that moment what an obstacle it is to not have access to true knowledge about God, about the meaning of our lives! And how important it is to make this knowledge available to all people!
Vladimir often suggested to us to try, if possible, to have no unfinished earthly affairs and earthly debts, including non-material affairs. He suggested us to live in such a way that if death comes right now — we would not be ashamed to die in front of God. And we would not look back to what we have forgotten to do…
God was very skillfully “playing along” to help Vladimir in this.
God showed me the “face of death” even through the threat of surgery (which did not take place): suggesting me to prepare for it as if I would not come out of narcosis. Or He showed the death of other people. Or was slightly hurrying me, directly reminding me that we do not live in our bodies forever. And that we should think about the things that are really important so that we have the time to get them done…
I will now tell about one of these episodes. At that time, I only started to study with Vladimir, and was still working at the studio. One time, I was running in a hurry at the studio yard with a bunch of suits in my hands — and at a turn I ran into a car, which fortunately was not moving very fast. This was during winter, it was very slippery! I was hit by the car and slipped — and found myself under the car. The driver, whitened with fear because of this, got me out and helped me to stand on my feet. He was surprised to see that I seemed to be all right…
I thanked God for this lesson! He showed me — quite specifically and intelligibly! — that death can happen very suddenly, when we least expect it…
But, God sometimes reminded me of death even after that, so that I did not forget that lesson — and hurried me up: for me to understand how much is still to be done.
For example, my mother, who accompanied a female friend, ill with cancer, to the hospital, told me that the turns of cancer patients were similar there to the crowds in crowded buses during “rush hours”. And I remember how God had once showed me — in a dream — myself standing in such a “turn for death”… Another variant of a turn, shown to me in the same dream, was in a comic form — “a turn” of Those Who had reached the Perfection — in front of the entrance to the Abode of the Creator… I saw then immediately how little I had done on this Path… And I also thought about how important it is to try to do as much as possible for others — so that they would also have time to think about all this…
… The illness and death of my mother’s friend taught me a lot too.
I was deeply grateful to that woman who once, during my first steps on my religious way, taught me the Christian humility. She was a sincere and deeply religious human.
Then — I tried to give her the knowledge that I had gained up to that time, but it did not turn out good. She, being an Orthodox, did not believe the things I was saying, did not accept my views, and did not want to read “sinful” books…
But, once, Jesus, speaking through me, promised her a healing. But He was also asking her — in gratitude for this — to keep fasting — a meat-free diet for all of her newly granted life. If okay, He recommended to confirm that the healing really happened — through repeating the tests on cancer. He told her exactly the date when it should be done. Analyses were carried out — and a reply was received: there were no cancer cells anymore.
But she still did not believe Jesus! The opinion of the church turned out to be more important for her!...
And then the cancer returned to her body…
One of the mechanisms of the manifestation of cancer — is the entering of souls of dead animals, killed and eaten, into the human body. These spirits create there “a nest” for themselves of cancer cells.
She died exactly one year later: on the very same day, in which — the year before — she was healed by Jesus…
She continued to accept with humility her fate until the last breath and strictly performed all the rituals and regulations of the church…
Imagine her shock, and confusion, when after the death of her body… she did not find herself in paradise! All did not turn out to be as the “pastors” promised her…
After she died, she came into my room. I had very little experience of communicating with non-divine souls — and did not immediately notice her. She tried to draw my attention to her. I felt bad, stuffy because of this. I did not understand what was happening and only after a while noticed her.
I sharply felt the pain of this deceived soul… To calm her down somehow, I asked her to sit on a chair, which stood in the room. She hung in the air over it in a sitting posture…
I tried to help her as much as I could… I offered to her to recollect the most tender emotions of love, which she experienced in her life, the peace and transparent silence of the autumn after she was healed, when she heard for the first time in her life how leaves fall to the ground in silence… And she found peace… But it is already impossible after death to obtain the state of love, which was not mastered by a soul during life of the body…
But how much more she could have done, as a sincere and deeply-religious human, if…
I strongly understood at that moment what an obstacle it is to not have access to true knowledge about God, about the meaning of our lives! And how important it is to make this knowledge available to all people!
* Back translation of this quotation from Russian.
Interrupted Song… and Repentance
The only way to purify the soul from vices is repentance.
But, how can we repent? This was explained in detail in [2,6,8-9,12-13,18,20,22-24], and I will give you some examples from my life.
Vladimir recently told us about a situation that happened once, when he had only studied the interaction with God in the Orthodox tradition. He advised his young Orthodox friend to pass through repentance in church.
That friend came back shining!
Vladimir asked him:
“So, have you repented?”
“Yes!!!”
“Of what?”
“… I do not know…”
“How did you repent then?”
“Like this: ‘I am a sinner, O Lord! I am a sinner, O Lord! I am a sinner, O Lord!’…”.
… In the beginning, I also repented but maybe a little better than Vladimir’s young friend. Many times I did a recapitulation of my whole life and tried to observe the situations as if from outside. I looked at the mistakes that I could recall, which caused pain and sufferings to other beings, and asked for their forgiveness… And, I thought, I had already repented for everything that I could remember…
But we should understand that the work of purification and transformation of oneself cannot be done only once and for all…
Sometimes, God leads us so that we recollect again and again the things that we did not understand well and the things that remained unclosed even after penitential work.
… I will give you an example: we collected flowers of bird-cherry tree to make honey. With us — Divine Lao. At a certain moment, I started to feel so bad, as if I was dying, almost getting coma… I was trying to understand: what could be the reason for this?
I asked Lao: “What is wrong?”
“Understand:” — He replied — “you are picking flowers that I taught you to keep on the palms of your Love, on the palms of the hands of your spiritual heart!
“Now you are picking them mechanically: if it was for food ― then it would be okay… But this is ― not quite so!
“Moreover, they give you their lives, their scent, their love ― and you do not have the right to accept these gifts without gratitude to them!
“So recall in your mind all of My children embodied into plant bodies, whose lives you took away in vain…”
… I then remembered bouquets of wildflowers gathered in my childhood, garlands of dandelions… I recollected lilies ― the northern relatives of Indian lotuses: which we pulled out of the water to make beads from them. We were breaking their stalks, and now the beautiful corollas were hanging lifelessly and dying…
I repented and asked for forgiveness ― and learned to never forget those lessons of Lao…
… And quite recently, being familiar with the state of my energy purity and transparency in my body, I noticed a slight darkening, which I could not eliminate by any means. I tried to deal with this myself for a long time, but I could not get rid of it…
* * *
We went to Babaji*. He was answering questions and was encouraging us to ask more.I took my chance ― and asked about that situation.
Vladimir transmitted Babaji’s answer:
“Everything similar has the karmic causes.
“More repentance is required from you. It is from your ‘tourist’ past.”
… “Tourist past”… I had only nice memories about the hikes of my childhood. My dad had taught me the hiking life from my early childhood. In the summer, we were kayaking or bicycling, in the winter ― skiing. Dad always was transformed in such hikes, becoming a completely different human being… Now I understand the mechanism: in contact with nature, he immersed himself into his anahata and lived by his spiritual heart, transforming our journeys into happiness through communicating with nature.
For a long time, I was not able to remember about the things that I could have done wrong then. I remembered hikes… The vast expanses of the river Vuoksa, the marvelous beauty of the environment, where only one-third of the surroundings is land, there are rising stone islands out of the lake’s surface overgrown with pine trees, mosses and lichens, and everything else there is — water, transparent surface of the water…
Boats slipping through the smooth water surface, we arrived on an island… And there — in the small hollows — there were spinney of brown cap boletuses and orange-cap boletuses, blueberries and cranberries. And rising above the water, stone cliffs were calling us to climb to the top — to see the amazing beauty of the lake and land from a height… Beautiful sunrises, sunsets…
My dad was an example to follow in many ways: living trees were never cut for a campfire, broken paws of living spruces were never used to be bedding for tents, dad was never able to catch a fish himself: he was physically feeling the pain of worms, which we would have to put on a hook… Neither he nor I, nor my mother knew about the ethics of nutrition… and, of course, we ate sausage, meat and canned fish…
… I was not able to find the specific reasons mentioned by Babaji. I tried to ask Him for help once more…
And then I remembered one hike very different from all others, which turned out to be almost erased from my memory, hidden in the depths…
On this occasion everything was not as it used to be. I was about eight or ten years old. This hike was not guided by my dad but by his friend ― a hunter and fisherman who had much experience in this field.
He was not an evil man. And he was the one who also once taught my dad about the hiking life on water.
… We were sailing along a river with low, swampy, and braky banks. Every night, a fishing net was put across the river — and huge fish became victims… And we then ate them…
At one time, he brought us a dead woodcock as a trophy and was very proud and happy…
Here!… Now I was sure that I had found and recollected to memory my mistakes…
I saw once again the dead body of the bird — with his large round glassy eyes, his soft brown feathers and amazingly long beak. I realized for the first time that it was — killed! And that this little hunting trophy of vanity could not serve as a meal for nine people…
Now I cannot remember: if I ate or not its flesh at that time… But! At that time, I closed my eyes of the soul and hid them from this awareness — because of the horror… But the ability to understand was so close… This could be the first deliberate choice of the soul that I could have made… But, at that time, I chickened out — and continued to live like everyone else: with my eyes of the consciousness closed…
… I also did not know much about woodcocks then, even if the occasion to see them was there… I was always asleep when down-low over the river, they were flying over the bushes, hanging down their long “noses”, when these amazing birds were filling the evening and the morning dawns with their mysterious, inimitable songs.
Now, many years later, I have learned more about the life of the woodcocks, I have learned to hear their songs, and I even made a movie about their amazing flights…
Now I understand very well the magnitude of my mistakes! I asked forgiveness of that woodcock, which, in obedience to the divine call of spring and love, sang its song..., but a shot of a human-predator rang out and cut short its life... and its song...
… In recent years, I have often seen them up-close by taking part in the work with Vladimir… Sometimes it has happened that, a woodcock, after feeling the field of my love, hovered in the air a meter from my face for a few seconds. He was looking at me with surprise: is she really the one who radiates such love?… And I in response was only able to send to it new portions of my love, because the camera could not shoot it in the descended twilight…
Beautiful songs of the woodcocks, curlews and snipes sounded all over the land… And somewhere in the distance the shots were ringing out… Hunters “prowess” were continuing to cut short bird’s lives…
* Babaji embodied in His last incarnation as an Avatar in Haidakhan, India. His Teachings are described in [2,5,8,11,15].
Cinema
Cinema played a very important role in my life.
My grandmother (the second, not the one, whom I have already mentioned) worked at the “Lenfilm” as an artist since the foundation of that cinema studio. And there was no question of choosing a profession for me.
Through the cinema, I learned a lot. Every new film is a new crew, new world of images, new expedition, new cities, people… And every person, whether he or she is a famous actor or a crowd-scene participant, when he or she enters a wardrobe, takes off part of his or her personal image along with clothes — then it gets better to see his or her substance.
I have worked with many “stars” of Russian and foreign cinema and had a possibility to observe them, at the height of their fame, from the side. Also, I could see that happiness or unhappiness did not depend on the fame and fortune, for the achievement of which many are willing to spend their entire lives. But everything is determined by ethical principles and spiritual qualities of man.
I worked on joint projects with the French and British, Japanese and Americans — and I knew that people in the world differ from each other, first of all, not by their language and ethnicity. And I was happy to meet in some people the desire and ability to work creatively, caring for others, and so on — and watched with sadness the arrogance and selfishness of others… And it is also not dependent on the halo of glory, wealth and nationality…
Perhaps, no other job would have allowed me to cognize so close such a huge variety of human souls and life situations.
… And also, there, in the movie studio, God gave me the chance to realize my childhood dreams… For example, I was trying on clothes in front of a luxury mirror various times and in various nations (to see how they are sewn). I traveled in a luxurious carriage (on the set), slept in palaces (in the brief intervals between shots — on a pile of clothing on the floor), sailed on the “ancient” sailing ships on the sea and so on.
It is exactly here my first meeting with Vladimir Antonov has happened, and it so drastically changed my life.
* * *
… Once, during a day when Vladimir was explaining the work with Kundalini to me and Maria, he asked, inter alia: would you like to quit filming the useless rubbish for humanity — and start making spiritual films?Of course I wanted to, Maria and I even had begun to think: where would we find the director, operator, money for the project?
We even tried to think of the scenario; Maria asked God to dictate it and took out a pen… This is what came out of it:
“One cannot know design of God
As long as hearts are blind and deaf.
Get all pieces of the puzzle together:
The Truth is split to speculations.
“Do not forget, when coming to the world:
The whole Creation — illusiveness!
When coming here, do not uproot
Your ties with the Infiniteness!
“With dazzling Divine white Fire
Burn the burden of the body’s chains,
And from the other side of “Mirror”
You conquer both time and space!
“Look around in every direction:
No limits are for “Transmirror Realm”!
Thus there is no reason
In looking only in the world material!
“Reality ― is only Him,
And no limits are for His Love!
You see: in Him only we must exist,
Whether we have bodies or none!”*
We initially thought that it was — the recommendation “to quit” filming at all. And Maria and I rushed to implement this new “scenario”. But God had other plans. We then only were proposed to always keep Him, God, as the foreground in life. And the cinema — let it become one of the mechanisms of service to Him!
… When the idea to shoot places of power and meditations had appeared, I could not even imagine how great it would be!...
And so, video camera, tripod, microphone, cassettes were bought… And — the first shootings started…
Knowing by experiences that the work of a two-hour movie in a professional studio usually takes about a year, and after that — about a year for the film editing… And during all this time people receive a salary…
It took us half a year to film and edit three four-hour series of the movie “Places of Power”…
Maria and I were involved in this more than anyone else. We worked on it almost twenty-four hours a day: for God did not cancel those paces of life for us that He set from the beginning, and they were just accelerating. We did not have a computer yet and if Vladimir did not like just one frame at the beginning of a four-hour tape, we had to reedit the entire film again, from the very beginning, because there was no other way to make changes…
And yet — it was turning out great! The videography transfers meditative states and states of places of power surprisingly well. The beauty of captured pictures of nature heightened the effect even more.
And God continued to teach us to communicate with Him in the affairs of service for Him — even when we were editing films! For example, when we were trying to choose the music for the film, it was unsuccessful over and over again… But then, for example, Lao would come — and the music, which “accidentally” was turned on, suddenly was precisely laying on the image, coinciding with the duration up to the second…
Sathya Sai Baba offered the following comparison: God is like an all-powerful film Director in His earthly staging…
And we were learning to be assistants of this Great Director.
* You can get acquainted with many other verses, received from God or written by colleagues of Vladimir Antonov, in the book [5] and in some of our other books.
A Little More on Methodology
I already mentioned that Vladimir Antonov had founded a new branch of modern science: Methodology of spiritual development. It includes, in particular, the well-defined stages of the Straight Path for the development of oneself as a consciousness and cognition of the Creator and Mergence with Him.
I would like to say a little bit more about this unique situation.
… What a shock comes at every subsequent step of cognition of God! Every time you think: “Is it possible that there is something more than this?” Any of these mastered states seemed to be the final Enlightenment!
For example, how easy it would be to say: “I have achieved everything!” — after experiencing the first Nirvanic states in the Holy Spirit. Many spiritual seekers, who once had experienced this, — declared themselves as “Enlightened”…
However, many people, who were not engaged in any spiritual practices, could experience the sublime, being filled with loving states at least once in their lives… But how does one learn to live permanently in such states?… It is exclusively under such conditions they will have lasting value!…
And how can one learn to stay on the achieved level, even if those states were not “accidents” but the real fruits of great spiritual efforts?
The fact is that, among other things, we need textbooks on the methodology in such situations!
Moreover, the developments of Vladimir Antonov are the exactly scientific knowledge, repeatedly tested by the experience of not just one person, but by so many spiritual seekers. And they are included with impeccable logic into the overall picture of the nature of Creation, Evolution of the Universal Consciousness!
… On the Spiritual Path a human being can learn to move the concentration of oneself as a consciousness in the anahata chakra — and live in the states of love, harmony and peace. This is what is available for every human! This ability can be mastered in just a few classes, or even just by the books of Vladimir Antonov!
The following steps may be cognized by means of simple and clear methods on special places of power. But they are already esoteric and that is what makes them secret: God teaches them only to very worthy devotees.
Between the initial stages of the Path: the adoption of the existence of God in one’s worldview, the first efforts in the ethical transformation of oneself and mental self-control — and up to the Mergence with the Creator — there are steps that include refinement and quantitative growth of the consciousness.
Moreover, the methodological “ladder” of spiritual ascent is like a map, which includes the entire route with marked points of destination and the ultimate Goal. But everyone — goes by himself/herself. The Master just paves a road. Only in some cases, he does personally help chosen humans to go.
And these clearly labeled steps of the general scheme allow us, including cases when we fall down, hurt ourselves, lose some meditative achievements — to start all over again… and really quickly restore the temporarily lost — now firmly and stable, forever.
The exact vision of the entire structure of the Path and understanding of the laws of motion ― allow one to rise quickly to each following new height, gradually learning the Divine Subtlety, Love, Wisdom and Power.
Techniques, developed by Vladimir Antonov, and the corresponding selection of places of power to them — provide an opportunity to master the Path with incredible speed. One day God told me about this in such a way:
“He did what even I ― God ― cannot do on my own! But only a human and God, in the great mutual attraction and cooperation, can pave the Straight Path ― the Path that allows a man to become God!”
* * *
And I would like to say a few words about one of the components of spiritual work: about planning.“It is impossible to live without a plan!” ― Vladimir repeated this many times. ― “We have to create plans for ourselves continually: both strategic ― for the future, and current ― for here and now.”
Without a strategic plan, we move much more slowly, act much less effectively.
If we formulate our goals and tasks for ourselves on paper, and then, over time, make a report of them to ourselves: what was completed and what remained undone — our progress is accelerating. This happens, because God is always happy to take part in such planning and reporting, and helps us to see the flaws and find the right solutions.
This way of acting optimizes not only our own advancement, but also helps in serving God by helping other incarnate people.
I remember when I sometimes was rereading my own plans and looking at the work that was done, I was conscious of and wondered to what high extent God had helped to implement these plans! For example, the idea of service, which seemed to be almost unattainable, suddenly “took on flesh” becoming the books and films made by our hands, and a lot of people on all continents, except for, perhaps, Antarctica, got acquainted with our materials through the Internet…
Equally important are the current plans for each day. They are also surprisingly effective and allow us to do the necessary things quickly — without holding a list of undone tasks “in the head”: “do not forget to buy this, to visit that place, to call that person and say something and so on”.
God spoke to me about this, in such words:
“The purity of the energy in the head chakras can be achieved only if all things in the tonal — are in order. In particular, plans should be recorded on paper — and then the burden of unfinished doings does not ‘irritate’ the mind. The freedom from the world of matter can only occur under this condition! Then — you are ready to immerse into Me!
“It is impossible to solve everything only through meditation! It is just as impossible to wash mud from dirty material hands through meditative cleansings! Here you just need to wash your hands with soap and water.
“So the whole of your ‘island of tonal’ ― that is, the surrounding material world associated with the body ― should be kept to a minimum, cleaned and washed out. Only then it will be easy to slip from this island into the Infinity of the Ocean of Me!”
Advices from God
Once in the forest, Sathya Sai Baba, Sulia, Kayr, and Andrew-the-Apostle spoke to us:
“… Is it enough for your happiness — only Me?
“When two loving people are touching tenderly the bodies of one another with fingertips, then in this touching the two disappear and only TENDERNESS remains — one for both…
“When two lovers are kissing one another, there are no lips, there is only the KISS — one for both…
“When two lovers are looking in the eyes of spiritual hearts of each other, they, as souls, unite in the flow of LOVE — one for both…
“How can you gain Wisdom? Through calmness of the mind, immersed into your spiritual heart, filled with the Creator.
“In this state, every thought of His becomes clear. And every thought here is now also yours. But this thought is free from the human ‘i’.
“Learn — in the silence of the mind — contemplate Me by the purity of the spiritual heart! Learn to live in this contemplation!
“This is how I become the Basis of all your actions.
“This is how you can learn the state which allows to act being in Mergence with Me.
“I understand how difficult this task is… However, you learned to walk, to speak… — it was a human childhood. Now — it is a ‘childhood’ of the other level of being: learn to think, to walk, to speak — being Me!
“Do not be afraid of falling: I am infinite in the Depth under everything! If you ‘fall’ — then you ‘fall’ into My Embrace and stand up being Me!
“Learn to live from My CALM and My LOVE! Learn to act in the state of Mergence!
“You have to carry the field of Calm around your body — the field of tenderness, love, harmony.”
* * *
“I need campfires of My schools throughout the Earth — campfires which cannot be blown out by winds or quenched by rains!“In storms and in foul weather, I want — through you — to kindle campfires, which will attract those who want it, and whom I want to help to come out of darkness, to bring closer to Me at this time!
“As to the rest, they have to see that these campfires are burning, burning always, that Love is the Way by which I lead people into Me.
“You have to warm the people’s hearts before each of them will rush to the Light and get kindled from My Fire. This is your service to Me!
“You are a scientific-spiritual School, and your task — is to carry the light of knowledge about God to people, the ethical laws of God! True supreme ethics, love for God, scientific knowledge about God, man, Evolution ― here is what you have to bring to the masses of people, first of all! It is necessary to change the worldview on the planet, restore the lost knowledge!
“The ancient school of Pythagoras can serve you in this respect perfectly. The laws of life in harmony with God, love and wisdom ― are the foundation. On this basis, should be held the upbringing of the spiritual leaders of different levels and trends, politicians, artists, scientists, and the education of children — to build the future of society.”
“What can be done for this right now?”
“The first and most important for you — is finally to gain the state of the Waves consubstantial to the Ocean of the Primordial Consciousness! Any earthly affair cannot replace this! Real serving on the scale of the planet may take place only from the final Unity with Me!
“Service of the Avatar is the work that is carried out from the Ocean of the Creator, and not only through the body. This is ― the work of the whole complex that includes body, Brahmanic Mahadoubles and the impact directly from the Ocean of the Creator. This work is implemented from the constant Unity with the Primordial Plane of Being!
“Look at Sathya Sai Baba: He wrote books and lectures, He pierced the planet with rays of His Universal “I”, He attuned those with Himself who loved Him and were willing to listen to His Teachings, He gave the highest methods of self-perfecting to those who were ready for this…”
Memories of an Assyris’ Student
Once I was a student in a forest school of the Divine Teacher Assyris. It was my past incarnation. God revealed to me only small episodes of that life: He never satisfied my vain curiosity about it. Only on rare occasions, when He considered it useful, He slightly lifted the veil over the past.
Below are some of these memories that seem interesting:
… Summer morning… I am 3 or 4 years old. Naturally, I do not see myself, but I can feel myself. I look from within my small body…
The field is suffused with sunlight. Far in the distance, there is a forest, which touches the boundless blue sky with the tops of trees.
Joy suddenly overfills me, and I run towards a man who looks to me very big. He radiates calm, power, love, and I perceive Him as very dear: perhaps he is my father or teacher… The state of boundless love and trust for him are as natural and total in me as the beauty and joy around: the meadows full of flowers, the forest, the shining sun…
I, overfilled with joyful love, run over to this man, and he takes my small body in his strong hands and throws me in the air… And… I feel myself as if without body… I find myself in the space of Light, all the rest disappears… There is only a boundless sea of Light… I swim in this Light…
Then the large and strong hands catch me — and everything comes back: the meadow, the forest, the flowers, the sky… I feel an overwhelming joy, shining joy! The joy of this game-caress overfills me!…
And the hands throw me in the air again… There is only Light…, and again…, and again…, and again…
* * *
Now, while I was writing this text, Assyris explained me that it was not a lesson in the forest school. It was our first meeting. This is how He found me.
* * *
… A campfire, the starry night sky… The flame illuminates an elder in light robes, sitting in the state of deep calm and silence. I am a young boy of about 12-14 years… I sit in the “student posture”… No, it is my body that sits. And I am an anthropomorphic consciousness, free from the body. I learn to dance from the fire…The most remarkable thing about this dance is that it lacks completely the human emotionality, artificialness. It was an attempt to reproduce the state of the fire as it is, with its inherent rhythm, the litheness of its tongues…
The feeling of time as if became slower; it seems that the elder looks at the campfire for an infinitely long time…
And I have an absolutely natural understanding that I am not the body, that I am a soul-consciousness. There may be no body, while I am.
* * *
I have some memories about a celebration of spring’s coming. They bring an intense feeling of joy. And several song lines…In such a celebration all the villagers and the students of the forest school participate.
It begins with watching the rising sun.
… In the soft mist at dawn, men and women, the old and children stand united by anticipation of mystery. Calm and silence…
Slowly the sun rises over the horizon. People raise their hands and greet the Sun and the spring! This is also the celebration of worshipping the Messenger of the “Sun of God” — Assyris. And Assyris covers all with His Divine Light…
… And then — many campfires and circle dances. The arms of consciousnesses, growing from the spiritual hearts, connect all. In the circle dance, all merge into one consciousness. Immense joy — of merging of pure souls…
Circle dances, like spring brooks, run in united movement. And the flames of fires shine as the symbols of the Divine Flame!
Joy in the heart: the sun is rising!
Lada! Lada! Hands are together!
Heart to heart longs with love!
Heart with heart longs to unite!
Birches and firs are in our circle dance,
The sky whirls, the clouds rejoice!
The heart sings together with birds!
The joy flies over the fields!
The sun rises — and joy is born!
Trees and birds whirl with us!
The song of spring sounds with streams!
The Sun of Svarog shines over us!
In the pure shining — let us merge together!
In the United Heart burns the Divine Flame!
Let us become Love created for God,
Before we jump into the Infinity of Svarog!
In the forest schools there are different kinds of teachers. But the main Teacher — God — always is represented by the concrete Divine Teacher — Assyris, the Son (the Messenger) of Svarog. He gives lessons of meditation by explaining, showing, submerging students into His Depth… It is communication — with the Teacher, Friend, loving Father.
* * *
… I look at a transparent Sphere of goldish Light — this appearance Assyris assumes this time. He gives His next lesson.I touch the Divine Consciousness with my hands, and — despite the lesson being quite usual — this touching again overfills me with love and tenderness.
Then I touch Him with the lips of the spiritual heart, and — as a consciousness — I dissolve… and assemble again in the state of “non-I”. There is no me anymore, but there remains everything around my former “I”…
Remembering about this at present, I recognize with surprise the method of “total reciprocity”, which I was taught in my current incarnation by Vladimir Antonov…
In this state of mine, Assyris submerges me into the Consciousness of the Earth and then — further, in the depths of space filled with Living Consciousness-Light. He easily changes the scales of perception. I can see everything inside and outside. Assyris says: “There is no you, there is only Me! I am in everything! You are also Me. Now there is nothing that you can consider as yourself!”
Then the consciousness expands more — and I find myself on the surface of a giant tender “Sun of God”; I look outside from Its surface…
I know that I have to become It all. Yet I cannot embrace It with myself… I just slightly fall deeper inside — and this gives me an intense feeling of bliss…
* * *
Next episode. This time I am older than in the previous memories. The freedom I feel, allows me to forget that somewhere there is my material body: now I am a giant body of consciousness…It is so wonderful and easy to move in this state!…
I can embrace the meadows and the forests; I can feel all beings living in them; I can caress and stroke them with my infinite arms of the spiritual heart…
And in front of me, right from beneath the surface of the Earth, Sun-Assyris rises. And I, as it was in that childhood, run towards Him stretching my arms… I enter into Him — Living “Sun” — as if into a gate which He has opened to me with His Spiritual Heart…
… Remembering this, I do not feel where is the boundary between that which I cognized in that lifetime and that which I have cognized in my present lifetime… For God, there are no sharp boundaries which separate our earthly incarnations… From the stage at which I had stopped that time, the lesson continues and goes on now… — the lesson of love and cognition of the Creator.
A Conversation with Assyris
“Did You want to speak with me?”
“Not quite: rather it was you who wanted this and I am — always glad for this opportunity! I always need for you to want to talk with Me, interact with Me, love Me!
“Again and again, you come back to attempts to recall your past incarnations. The desire to allure people into Me by ‘a tasty bait’ of the History of Ancient Russia has not extinguished in you… But you must understand that, for those, who really want to cognize Me now, — the experience of this life of yours is far more valuable: the real experience of cognition of God, which is done right now in the same environment in which your contemporaries live!
“The important thing is that now, as in all times, there is God ― God is Alive! ― and He is ― cognizable! This is exactly what people need to hear!
“… But, still, I will use this opportunity to say something more about My Schools in Ancient Russia.
“As the sun sends its rays, so do I always send My sons and daughters on the Earth. Ancient Russia was a fertile cornfield thanks to the preservation of God’s ethic laws ― the laws of love. So, I was able to preserve the knowledge of the Highest in My Schools for a long time. The souls were incarnating in those conditions where the knowledge of the Path was known. Schools were being led by Divine or nearly Divine Souls. Each such soul is like a tree that is rising above the Earth and supporting the already existing center of spirituality.
“Only matured souls were selected to study the higher esoteric practices in Schools. The criterion was the ability to think critically by the developed consciousness. A developed spiritual heart ― was considered as necessary, but not a sufficient condition.
“At that time subsistence agriculture was dominating in Russia. Spiritual Schools were almost devoid of worries about food, because they were supported by rural communities. And the people of those communities were receiving assistance from the Schools through prevention of droughts and poor harvests, healing diseases, educating children… These communities in which were schools, existed with them as a single organism, like a family.
“… Those who came out of Me worked primarily with the souls who were already matured and did not have to develop the intellect through filling the mind with information… The mechanism of the development of the ability of the consciousness to think was somewhat different for them. It was similar to what is told about the ancient Greek philosophers who comprehended, through meditation, the structure of the multi-dimensional universe, the spherical shape of our planet, etc. For you it is clear that there are different variants of exploration of any problem by the consciousness: starting with the information that comes from own thoughts — and ending with Revelations and the direct exploration of, for example, multi-dimensional layers by a developed consciousness. Your conversation with Me now — is also an example of such cognition. Another example is the meditation presented by Me.
“The ability to think fruitfully develops in the best way on the background of contemplative peace. Many children were growing up in the School. Through thinking about natural phenomena and various kinds of living organisms — a child was learning to think, adults were just directing, correcting this work. Any bug, flying bird, live or dry branch of a tree could become a textbook for understanding life and death, the attachment of the consciousness to the material shell, or the differences and similarities of life forms…
“This was the first stage of teaching.
“After this students were easily and quickly shifting to the perception of multi-dimensional space. Very little amount of indriyas were attached to the material plane. To redirect indriyas of such a soul to the cognition of intangible planes and communication with the Divine Souls — was very easy for Me!
“Precisely, the communication of a soul with God ― the non-embodied Divine Consciousness ― was the basis of teaching. Due to this, I could easily give lessons to everyone. To correct and explain the basic techniques was required from incarnate instructors.
God was the Teacher! Immersion into the Depths of Me was just as smooth, unhurried, and natural as the usual life. It was the growing up of children in God’s family. By the way, nobody was setting tasks to speed up this maturation.
“Do you remember, how once I showed you such an image: in order to cross the mighty river by swimming or on a boat we have to put continued efforts; it is important to row: otherwise you will not reach the other bank and drown. That is your spiritual Path now.
In those ancient times — the worldview and structure of society allowed a sort of wide bridge to exist. When there is a bridge, you can walk slowly over a stream, without misgivings for the currents and rapids. Precisely the right order of society allows the Path to God to become a bridge, which makes it safe for crossing the turbulent river of samsara.”
Father!
How Can I Thank You for Everything?!
How Can I Thank You for Everything?!
Father! How Can I Thank You for Everything?!
I never managed to express my gratitude through words for God, for all our Divine Teachers. When I tried to do this…, the Dissolution and Mergence were always happening, the individual “I” was disappearing… — and instead of speaking of Love for Him, He Himself was speaking of His Love…
In particular, such were all the poems written down by me: they were — His words that went through me when He and I were one…
“How do I thank You, Father? How do I thank You for the opportunity to cognize, to merge, to learn to be You?”
Once, Sathya Sai Baba answered me on this question. He said:
“Try to get up close! Grow up to My ability to emanate from My Abode and give My Love! And stand close, next to Vladimir, next to Me, with all Us! And do what We do! This will be the best gratitude! This will be the Highest Service to Me!”
Instead of Conclusion
(Chapter Dictated by Jesus)
(Chapter Dictated by Jesus)
… Jesus has come…
“Did you want to write a chapter about Me?”
“Yes, I want to very much!”
“If you want, I will dictate.”
“Yes! Do not go, please! Do not go! I will take a pen and paper!…”
“I never left you! I came into your life a long time ago and will never leave! I remember very well all your words to Me and all your promises to Me.
“I have been leading you for a very long time. I have always been close. Back in those days, when you did not know that I existed, you already were feeling My first touches. It was I, Who was standing near you, when Yeshua from the pages of ‘The Master and Margarita’ touched your heart…”
“Jesus, was that You?…”
“Yes, I was with you even at that time.
“Do you remember when you were reading the Gospel and thinking that you would follow Me… if it was true?… I was there with you, I was telling you: it is ― the truth! Yes, I was healing by touching, yes, I was walking on waters, yes, I was raising the dead… I was telling you: everything about this was the truth! And you, still not knowing Me, were starting to believe Me…
“And then in church, do you remember?… There was only Me and you — no matter how many people were around us… My eyes were looking straight into your spiritual eyes. I was looking into your heart, soul, wherever your body was standing…”
“I remember, Jesus…”
“And then I gave the book of Vladimir Antonov ‘The Original Teachings of Jesus Christ’ into your hands. You finally picked it up… I was so happy at that moment!
“I remember how you dared to start the Path to Me, I remember all your promises. I remember when you saw Me for the first time with the clarity of the eyes of the soul at My place of power — and I was blessing your Path to Me.
“I have not forgotten anything! I remember how you merged by the consciousness with My Mahadouble and how you were stretching out your hands with Me to all the souls whom I hold on my hands, how you were asking for permission to help them to find out, at least a bit, about the opportunity to be with Me always. About this you know now… I granted your request: I was speaking words through you which were addressed to all humans on the Earth…
“It is — just the beginning of the Service that you will do on the Earth from Me, for Me, in order for God to touch every human heart! People need to know that God is Love, that He — is cognizable, that I am — always next to everyone who is on this Path, that I am not leaving anyone without help, who puts all personal efforts — and with love rushes to Me! I lead him/her by the hand into the Abode of the Father!
“See: ‘the fairy tale’, in which you once feared even to believe, — became a reality of your life!
“I am here today to confirm that you have cognized Me!
“Live with My Heart in your chest, shine from the Sun of God with the Great Love of the Creator!
“Remember: I teach you to live as I lived! And I and the Father are One!
“I bless all of you to serve the Father as I do this! Feel the Great One! Feel the Power of the Great Father!
“There is an amazing power of the love of the Father, Which is able to transform souls!
“God is Love!
“That, to which I have committed, everyone can commit to!”
“Did you want to write a chapter about Me?”
“Yes, I want to very much!”
“If you want, I will dictate.”
“Yes! Do not go, please! Do not go! I will take a pen and paper!…”
“I never left you! I came into your life a long time ago and will never leave! I remember very well all your words to Me and all your promises to Me.
“I have been leading you for a very long time. I have always been close. Back in those days, when you did not know that I existed, you already were feeling My first touches. It was I, Who was standing near you, when Yeshua from the pages of ‘The Master and Margarita’ touched your heart…”
“Jesus, was that You?…”
“Yes, I was with you even at that time.
“Do you remember when you were reading the Gospel and thinking that you would follow Me… if it was true?… I was there with you, I was telling you: it is ― the truth! Yes, I was healing by touching, yes, I was walking on waters, yes, I was raising the dead… I was telling you: everything about this was the truth! And you, still not knowing Me, were starting to believe Me…
“And then in church, do you remember?… There was only Me and you — no matter how many people were around us… My eyes were looking straight into your spiritual eyes. I was looking into your heart, soul, wherever your body was standing…”
“I remember, Jesus…”
“And then I gave the book of Vladimir Antonov ‘The Original Teachings of Jesus Christ’ into your hands. You finally picked it up… I was so happy at that moment!
“I remember how you dared to start the Path to Me, I remember all your promises. I remember when you saw Me for the first time with the clarity of the eyes of the soul at My place of power — and I was blessing your Path to Me.
“I have not forgotten anything! I remember how you merged by the consciousness with My Mahadouble and how you were stretching out your hands with Me to all the souls whom I hold on my hands, how you were asking for permission to help them to find out, at least a bit, about the opportunity to be with Me always. About this you know now… I granted your request: I was speaking words through you which were addressed to all humans on the Earth…
“It is — just the beginning of the Service that you will do on the Earth from Me, for Me, in order for God to touch every human heart! People need to know that God is Love, that He — is cognizable, that I am — always next to everyone who is on this Path, that I am not leaving anyone without help, who puts all personal efforts — and with love rushes to Me! I lead him/her by the hand into the Abode of the Father!
“See: ‘the fairy tale’, in which you once feared even to believe, — became a reality of your life!
“I am here today to confirm that you have cognized Me!
“Live with My Heart in your chest, shine from the Sun of God with the Great Love of the Creator!
“Remember: I teach you to live as I lived! And I and the Father are One!
“I bless all of you to serve the Father as I do this! Feel the Great One! Feel the Power of the Great Father!
“There is an amazing power of the love of the Father, Which is able to transform souls!
“God is Love!
“That, to which I have committed, everyone can commit to!”
Your Jesus,
Whom people call Christ
Whom people call Christ
